So this has been an interesting week.
I've been accepted to two schools now, one in Olympia and one in Chicago. Yea!!!! I'm very excited but also twisty and nervous.
Part of the reason I'm nervous is that school is not going very well, largely because the bookstore has decided I don't really need my books after all. I barely passed my first anatomy test-52%-which I still think is pretty good for not reading the chapter.
Also, I really feel like I have no space. My dad bought me a space heater, which didn't really work, so I've lived outside of my room for a while now. I either don't have the time or the inclination to do anything about it.
I bought Toby some bath stuff, which is good because his face gets really dirty and stinky. It makes him smell really good but he's still really itchy everywhere else. Last night I kept waking up to him crying and trying to scratch himself. So I pick him up and try to comfort him, help him reach his tail, coax him back to sleep, etc. This happened three or four times throughout the night. So my alarm goes off at seven this morning and I decide I can sleep until seven-thirty. Besides I'm having a lovely nightmare about getting fired for breaking all the toys in the day-care, which also results in me getting excommunicated. Of course the next time I'm aware of the alarm going off, it's like 9:30, and so much for Sacrament Meeting. I end up sleeping in really late. This is what frustrates me. Apparently, of late, I have a complete lack of discipline.
I have been eating better, but for today, even if calorie wise I ate enough/not too much, it was totally horrible food. Which leads me to the thing that truly freaks me out-my skin. I have some sort of bizarre rash on my torso, so I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I have an inkling it might be stress related. But I feel scared-yes scared-that no one will believe me. Believe that I've been stressed out. Because I'm happy in general, but can't I still be stressed, overwhelmed, preoccupied? It seems like anytime I ever feel anything, it must be that I'm not eating enough, I have too much sugar, etc. My mind lately is either crammed full or nearly empty. I'm having a hard time spelling, focusing my eyes, thinking clearly. I feel so tired. I feel like this at the beginning of every year. Is it twisted Spring Fever? I don't get it. I just want someone to tell me it's okay, but who would it have to be in order for me to believe it?