Do you ever feel such utter self-hate you could do something drastic?
I want to run away.
Modern Muse
Adriana Lima in Elle Magazine
Monday, October 11, 2004
Saturday, October 09, 2004
My People
I come from a grand family. As they sat around my house this evening I once again realized how beautiful they all are. Perhaps you would like to meet them? I'll begin with those in attendance.
First is my eldest aunt, who my mother refers to as the baroness. She is well named. Regal and rich with life, the Baroness has a story to tell about everything. She has had experience with all kinds of people. She has at the very least slight understanding of Greek due to a love affair she had with one. Her big brown eyes look innocent, but her smile doesn't. She is perhaps the sweetest lady I have ever known.
Except of course for my other darling auntie, who at the moment I somehow feel inclined to call empress Marie. She is always calm and cordial. She and her husband embody hospitality, even at someone else's residence. She reminds me of a Victorian lady, always polite, the very picture of cool refinement.
Next in the oldest generation is my mother, the self-proclaimed matriarch, or queen mother. She is like a glass of champagne. She is so elegant, so refined, yet bright and bubbly at the same time. She is full of the same social grace naturally that a glass of wine or two seems to promise. She is married to my father, who like all the men in my family, is full of strength and passion. (Actually the entire family is.) My father is the hardest-working person I know. He has a great many dreams. He also has an overwhelming charm. My father may not be able to do everything, but he can persuade people to do nearly anything for him.
If we refer to the first generation as royalty, let compare to the succeeding generations as the jewels of the crown. First we have Diana, in a stone which may be unexpected: Turquoise. Earthy, bright, and at times fiercely independent, Diana is who I go shopping with and the source of family information. She is wildly, unbelievably generous.
Also there were two of my siblings. The first, Stephen, is I believe, deserving of the title Lord Protector. I would say his family's stones are onyx and diamonds-strong, nearly indestructible, with a black and white sense of who they are and who they are not. Stephen is protective (particularly of the womanfolk) and I honestly believe he would die-and kill-for us. His wife is bubbly, bright, and gets along with everyone. I was only three when they married, but none the less, I have never had to get used to the idea of her as a sister. He also has two children. His daughter is one year younger than me and his son three years. It is impossible to explain how much I love them. Gigi is so mellow, yet so honest. She has never taken any crap regarding her or her family. In fact she once yelled at a friend of mine (who wasn't altogether sure who she was) who she felt had violated me. I vow to do the same for her, as I believe there are two people (I know of now) that I was born for, and she is one of them. I was so nervous when re-meeting her three years ago we would have grown apart and am eternally grateful we didn't. My nephew James is also one of my greatest friends. Although he is only a few years younger than me, I love to brag about him. He is turning into a sweet, noble prince of a young man. That will probsly embarrass him, and so will this, but I often get impressions of his vast potential. I think he has the spiritual and mental capacity to become truly great, like George Washington great.
Lastly, my elder sister was there. She is the pearl. She has always reminded me of angels, and it is said that when my parents first uttered her name, heavenly hosts did sing. She doesn't believe me when I say this, but young gentlemen can never take their eyes off her. (This is true for Gigi as well, but I think she realizes it more.)She has also inspired comparisons to warm cookies and goddesses. She has taught me about self-respect and I have more fun with her than almost any other time. I can tell her anything, and tho she may say i don't do it very often, she taught me to listen with empathy and grace.
I have two other siblings to talk about, as well as their friends I like to count as sisters, plus a baby boy I love to pieces. At least 80% of those people will be at my house tomorrow in honor of my brother's 26th birthday. So happy birthday Benj! And I will talk about them tomorrow.
First is my eldest aunt, who my mother refers to as the baroness. She is well named. Regal and rich with life, the Baroness has a story to tell about everything. She has had experience with all kinds of people. She has at the very least slight understanding of Greek due to a love affair she had with one. Her big brown eyes look innocent, but her smile doesn't. She is perhaps the sweetest lady I have ever known.
Except of course for my other darling auntie, who at the moment I somehow feel inclined to call empress Marie. She is always calm and cordial. She and her husband embody hospitality, even at someone else's residence. She reminds me of a Victorian lady, always polite, the very picture of cool refinement.
Next in the oldest generation is my mother, the self-proclaimed matriarch, or queen mother. She is like a glass of champagne. She is so elegant, so refined, yet bright and bubbly at the same time. She is full of the same social grace naturally that a glass of wine or two seems to promise. She is married to my father, who like all the men in my family, is full of strength and passion. (Actually the entire family is.) My father is the hardest-working person I know. He has a great many dreams. He also has an overwhelming charm. My father may not be able to do everything, but he can persuade people to do nearly anything for him.
If we refer to the first generation as royalty, let compare to the succeeding generations as the jewels of the crown. First we have Diana, in a stone which may be unexpected: Turquoise. Earthy, bright, and at times fiercely independent, Diana is who I go shopping with and the source of family information. She is wildly, unbelievably generous.
Also there were two of my siblings. The first, Stephen, is I believe, deserving of the title Lord Protector. I would say his family's stones are onyx and diamonds-strong, nearly indestructible, with a black and white sense of who they are and who they are not. Stephen is protective (particularly of the womanfolk) and I honestly believe he would die-and kill-for us. His wife is bubbly, bright, and gets along with everyone. I was only three when they married, but none the less, I have never had to get used to the idea of her as a sister. He also has two children. His daughter is one year younger than me and his son three years. It is impossible to explain how much I love them. Gigi is so mellow, yet so honest. She has never taken any crap regarding her or her family. In fact she once yelled at a friend of mine (who wasn't altogether sure who she was) who she felt had violated me. I vow to do the same for her, as I believe there are two people (I know of now) that I was born for, and she is one of them. I was so nervous when re-meeting her three years ago we would have grown apart and am eternally grateful we didn't. My nephew James is also one of my greatest friends. Although he is only a few years younger than me, I love to brag about him. He is turning into a sweet, noble prince of a young man. That will probsly embarrass him, and so will this, but I often get impressions of his vast potential. I think he has the spiritual and mental capacity to become truly great, like George Washington great.
Lastly, my elder sister was there. She is the pearl. She has always reminded me of angels, and it is said that when my parents first uttered her name, heavenly hosts did sing. She doesn't believe me when I say this, but young gentlemen can never take their eyes off her. (This is true for Gigi as well, but I think she realizes it more.)She has also inspired comparisons to warm cookies and goddesses. She has taught me about self-respect and I have more fun with her than almost any other time. I can tell her anything, and tho she may say i don't do it very often, she taught me to listen with empathy and grace.
I have two other siblings to talk about, as well as their friends I like to count as sisters, plus a baby boy I love to pieces. At least 80% of those people will be at my house tomorrow in honor of my brother's 26th birthday. So happy birthday Benj! And I will talk about them tomorrow.
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