Stupid

Wednesday I went to a poetry reading. It counts as extra credit for English, so a bunch of people who don't give a crap showed up. They were being really rude, and then as my friends and I were leaving, they followed us to our cars and started harassing us. They were threatening to beat up the guys, not to mention saying all sorts of crap to us. I seriously thought the guys were gonna have to fight, but we just left. It was like 2:1 them against us too. I was pretty shaken up.

I am on the verge of a panic attack so it seemed like a good idea to blog. I have recently entered the working world. This is not for resume builders or anything idealistic like that. This is purely for money. Money so that i can go to college. The sad sick irony is this: I now don't have any time to focus on college apps, essays, homework, or anything else. I don't know what to do!!! School is more impoprtant, but how will I pay for it without the job??? Even if i were to quit and focus on scholarship-finding I'd need more money. Plus it's only been a week, if i quit now it will just be another stupid thing i just couldn't get thru or whatever. I HATE money. Because no matter how much you have, you need more. All the money i'll make will go straight into savings anyway. I feel like I am being smothered by a giant alarm clock. I just need to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Few Moments
Tomas Tranströmer



The dwarf pine on marsh grounds holds its head up: a dark rag.
But what you see is nothing compared to the roots,
the widening, secretly groping, deathless or half-
deathless root system.

I you she he also put roots out.
Outside our common will.
Outside the City.

Rain drifts from the summer sky that's pale as milk.
It is as if my five senses were hooked up to some other creature
that moves with the same stubborn flow
as the runners in white circling the track as the night comes misting in.

Holy crap quotes

Here are a lot of things I like:
A designer knows he has arrived at perfection not when there is no longer anything to add but when there is no longer anything to take away. - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

I am convinced we do not only love ourselves in others but hate ourselves in others too. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart, and that depends upon how much he has polished it. Whoever has polished it more sees more - more unseen forms become manifest to him. – Jalal Ad-din Rumi

What this power is I cannot say; All I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it. - William Shakespeare

Times of great calamity and confusion have been productive for the greatest minds. The purest ore is produced from the hottest furnace. The brightest thunder-bolt is elicited from the darkest storm.- Charles Caleb Colton

Mind and spirit together make up that which separates us from the rest of the animal world, that which enables a man to know the truth and that which enables him to die for the truth.- Edith Hamilton

People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world. - David Levesque

So which is your favorite?

Utah in the News

Well, just because my darling little state doesn't get much attention, I thought i'd link to this blog from VH1 about us.

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100 Years-Five for Fighting

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Katherina Has Stopped Caring.

Here is my declaration of independence:
I don't care.
I am me. I like what I like. I don't owe anyone anything except God. I like TV. I love Indie rock. I vary between reading fashion magazines, classic lit, fluff/beach novels and religious treatises. I live in my own little world. I am an unapologetic slacker. I like rock, classical, and jazz. I make the occasional odd wandering into pop. I will stop apologizing for not having the same interests as other people.
Party time. Excellent.

How Good are you at Certain Things?
Name
Age
Favorite Color
Nickname
Sex - 82%
Romance - 8%
Self - Control - 38%
Kissing - 77%
Cuddling - 26%
Kinkiness - 71%
This Quiz by KillianO - Taken 2286902 Times.

New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology

Your Nail Polish Color is Red

How you're unique: You have an incredible eye for style and art Why your style rocks: You are classic and classy - and that's hot! What this color says about you: "I'm smart, sassy, and sexy. And I know it."

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Very cool

"If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down." - Ray Bradbury

Just for the heck of it... you do it too!

FiLL THiS OUT:

the last person who..

1. Slept in your bed: me
2. Saw you cry: Probably JoAnna
3. Made you cry: Daddy..sorta.
4. You went to the movies with: JoAnna again
5. You went to the mall with: JoAnna & Heidi
6. One thing you could take back: Any insult to someone I love.

HAVE YOU EVER...............
1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: yes
2. Got in a fight with your pet: No...
3. Been to California: Yes
4. Been to Mexico: No
5. Been to China:No
6. Been to Canada: Yes
7. Been to Europe: No
8. Danced naked: Hmm...
9. Wish you were the opposite sex: No


1. Do you have a crush on someone: no, just Johnny Depp & Phil of the Future
2. What book are you reading now: The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
3. Worst feeling in the world: Hopelessness
4. Future KIDS names: Christopher & Victoria
5. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Sorta
6. What's under your bed: Stuff
7. Favorite sport to watch:Hockey
8. Location: Salt Lake, Utah
9. Piercings/Tattoos: None
11. What are you most scared of: Regret
12. Where do you want to get married: A temple
13. Who do you really hate: The Bitch Twins. I don't swear-this is how much I hate them.
14. Do you have a job: No
15. Do you like being around people: yes
16. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: None whatsoever? No, I don't think so. Unless you count Johnny Depp.
17. Have you ever cried: Yes
18. Are you lonely right now: No...well maybe in an existential sort of way.
19. Song that's stuck in your head a lot: Don't quite know.

1. Been in love: Sorta...I don't know how to answer that. Not officially.
2. Played strip poker: No, but i have won every game of poker I've ever played, so watch out!
3. Gotten beaten up: Not really.
4. Pulled an all nighter: Not to study...
5. Been on radio/tv: yes
6. Been in a mosh-pit: No
7. Do you have any gay/lesbian friends: Yes
8. Skinny dipped: No

In the last 24 Hours have you...

1. Cried: No
2. Bought something: Yes
3. Gotten sick: No
4. Sang: Yes
5. Been kissed: No
6. Had sex: No
7. Felt stupid: No
8. Talked to an ex: No
9. Missed someone: Yes
10. Hugged someone: Yes

your name is? L'en public ? Katherina Marie D'Aquitaine.

hmm

My mother is yelling at me to post. I just never know what to say-I'm not all poignant like y'all.
Hmmm...I guess I feel like I am finally coming into my own...again.
I feel that familiar fire burning again...that one that makes me realize that I am an actual soul and daughter of the divine...a rather vague sense of purpose.
I believe in fairies and God and magic and love at first sight and soulmates and that the ocean is in love with the moon. You stand by the ocean and you see the waves so devoted, so constant and reassuring-yet so passionate.
I love glitter and art and beauty and the rush of a boy whispering in your ear. The feeling of pure magic lifting you...
I think that's what the soul is-an ocean of knowing with the glitter of omnipresent wonder sprinkled over it. Is it not glorious we get to feel both?
A wise woman once said those are our sixth and seventh senses.
And I am very sensual.

MEME

I was tagged, so here we go....
If I could be a musician I would sing about righteous rebellion, loud truth, and love in all its forms.
If I could be an innkeeper I would have the most comfortable beds in the world and rich heady wine that cajoles and comforts
If I were a rich girl, I would buy everyone a house and give my loved ones the gift of art
There is no one left to tag, is there?

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a circus clown....(by Greg)
If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember...(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner...(By Blue944)
If I could be an actor... (By Blue944)
If I could be a rich girl... (By V)
If I could be a witch...
If I could be a racer...
If I could be an assassin... (by Sex)
If I could be a Muslim cleric… (by JL)
If I could be an appliance...(by kieran)
If I could be a super-evil-genius... (by kieran)
If I could be a TV dinner… (by Benny K)
If I could be a recluse (by Amie-J)
If I could be a child genius (by Aime-J)

Indie Girl

I just took a quiz on what kind of girl I am. Check it out: http://www.cookingtohookup.com/quiz/

It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.
-- Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

An Indie Girl's life is a Statement with a capital S, but unlike the Granola Girl, the statement is not political -- it's artistic. Indie Girls consider themselves actresses in the movie of life. Your meal needs to be constructed like an independent film. If you're bringing her over for a date, you are playing a character in her movie. If you create a setting, props, and a soundtrack that are good enough to avoid the cutting-room floor, she's yours.

You can boil the Indie Girl down to two words: cultural literacy. Or how about these two: media consumption. As the Gourmet Girl loves food and all that goes with it, the Indie Girl loves media: books, movies, music, and art. The good news is you don't have to be rich, good-looking, or famous to win this girl's heart. The bad news is she will judge you based on your music choices, the books you read, and the films you watch.

She Might Be a Indie Girl if:

1. She drives: a classic car, a VW beetle, a Mini Cooper, or a Vespa scooter.-yea!
2. She can talk for more than ten minutes about: obscure pop culture.
3. She begins her sentences with: "It's like that Simpsons episode . . ."-yea!
4. She'd never: drive a mini-van.
5. She owns any of the following: TiVo, a mini-DV camera, an iPod, a pottery wheel, a serger, or a lava lamp.

Lava lamps! Yea!

We Don't Need No Education

My high school has a new administration this year and they are freaking insane. For example.
My friend missed school because she went to on a field trip to the hospital. She has diabetes and is really interested in medical stuff. Well she did not have a note because field trips are automatically excused. The administration calls her down to the office to give her Saturday school because she has ONE "unexcused" absence. She says "I was at the hospital" and before she has time to explain why the assistant principal says "Yeah, sure you were." Not only does this not give time for the student to explain herself, but she has a freaking insulin pump on her hip, what the hell are they challenging her for?
It gets worse. My other friend gives a note excusing an absence to the attendance office who are slow and get annoyed if you ever ask them anything (once they sat there telling me I couldn't go home even though I was obviously having a panic attack and hyperventilating). The note does not get put through by the time my friend gets called down for the freaking Saturday School, so she picks it up from the note submission basket on her way. "How convenient," Little Miss Bitch says, "and I expect you want me to believe that is legitimate? You just wrote it, didn't you?" "Call my mom," Innocent Cool Chick counters. Well then Student Body Officer Big Shot Hottie comes in and openly admits to sluffing. So-LMB lets him off. Now SBOBSH is a nice guy and I am not blaming him, but what the hell, right? So ICC says "Excuse me? He does not have a note and you will let him off but not me? Doesn't that go against your own rules? The ones you set and enforce, albeit ineffeiciently? Why-" So then LMB interrupts with "I suggest you shut up. If you bring this up again, you will be suspended."
And they are shortening our lunch period by 15 minutes next year.
Please tell me how i should deal with these bastards.
Excuse my obscenity.

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

How to make a Katherina

Ingredients: 5 parts competetiveness 5 parts crazyiness 5 parts ego

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Blog Blogg Bloggg

Amie-J has been yelling at me to be more current on my posts so here i am. Unfortunately I don't know what to say. JoAnna and I had an awesome conversation at her place about dogmatic morality and perfection. No one on earth can achieve perfection, yet we all try and feel like a failure if we don't. Why is this? Share your thoughts.

Although They Are by Sappho

Although they are

Only breath, words
Which I command
Are immortal