RockerBombshell

Th Psychic by Carolita Johnson

2011-11-02T19:11:00.002-06:00

Read this story and then do whatever the hell you want.
http://thehairpin.com/2011/11/the-psychic?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+thehairpin%2FBdYj+%28The+Hairpin%29

Back To Life

2011-10-17T14:45:00.001-06:00

I start classes (well, a class) again this week so it's back to work for me. I am trying to define work a little more...creatively this time around. As part of my penchant for making lists, here are some things I hope to refocus on:

Making A's and $
Taking some childhood development classes
Book reviews (and the reading that goes with it)
Creative ventures: sewing, collages, writing
Blogging: Both reading and writing
Seeing movies again
Exploring and listening to a lot of music
Playing with my look (particularly getting a little more creative with my outfits, maybe exploring Carol Tuttle's classes)
Exercising

I feel a bit more inspired than I have in a while, so wish me luck!

MAYA ANGELOU'S BEST POEM EVER

2011-09-23T01:10:00.002-06:00

So I was forwarded this and I'm not really sure if its accurate or if it is in fact by Maya Angelou. I have to say I don't personally find it to be Angelou's best poem ever, but it does have some good advice.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .......
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a feeling of control over her destiny.....
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship....

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.....
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Watch This. It's Wonderful.

2011-08-27T01:03:00.001-06:00

The Hero's Journey in Film

Incurable Romanticism

2011-04-03T23:03:00.000-06:00

Do you ever feel as if you might be insane and you would rather just fall into it? Like it might be more pleasant to drown than to fight the waves?
I don't want to be good anymore. I don't want to be bad, per se, I just want to give myself up to life. I don't want to temper my passions anymore. I want love, creativity, revolution...Everything I've always wanted, everything I am....I feel afraid to face myself, because what if I die? What if I really do drown in my own intensity? But I can't fight it anymore.
So let me fall, let me dream of you a little, however irrational, dangerous, or insane. Did you know I believe in love at first sight? I don't advertise it, but I do.
I want so much more than just salvation, even if I risk salvation to get it. Is that wrong or is it True? Will I be cast out?
If I am, maybe you'll be there...

Hey-o.

2010-11-25T04:19:00.002-07:00

"Remember that even the tiniest adjustment can create the effect you desire."

This is actually from my Twittascope, but I thought it was a good thought.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Book Review

2010-11-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

I have posted a book review! It can be found here and here.

I've also been more active on my fashion blog since my rediscovery of Polyvore.

Book Review!

2010-07-15T21:15:00.001-06:00

The Craft of Research, Third Edition by Wayne G. Booth

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The authors create the feeling that they are both knowledgeable and really understand what it is like to be a student, which reminded me of my uncle who works at CSU-Bakersfield. It also seems like they might work in different disciplines, however the author's note puts them all in English and Literature. This just further shows what a good job they've done being interdisciplinary.

View all my reviews >>

Congrats Grads! (That would be James and Shy)

2010-06-11T21:49:00.001-06:00

I Really Should Be Writing A Paper.

2010-06-05T15:16:00.001-06:00

Hm. I really should.

What an inspiring woman...

2010-05-27T14:45:00.003-06:00

A Peace Treaty

2010-04-18T17:53:00.000-06:00

If you're style runs to the bohemian at all, you should check out the scarves and made-to order jewelry at A Peace Treaty. The scarves are gorgeous, and the jewelry is both modern and buried-treasure looking. Incidentally, this guy is also really hot.

Where Is My Motivation?

2010-01-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

I got no motivation
Where is my motivation?
No time for the motivation
Smoking my inspiration
--"Longview"--Green Day

Okay, so I'm not smoking it. I'm writing it down in notebooks and staring at it. I planned to actually work today, but it's not happening. At least I'm writing something, even if it's not what I want to be writing, or should be or whatever. So why don't I just go do that? Bleh.
Whine,
Whine,
Whine.

I need to remember this...

2009-11-26T03:37:00.002-07:00

I am a human being, not a human doing.

Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t . . . you aren’t.
----Wayne W. Dyer

Everything else that happened in September...

2009-10-05T00:14:00.000-06:00

So as you may have gathered, my time is stictly limited. Here is an extremely rough view of my first month here.

As you can see, the flat has been taking shape. We have been able to decorate a bit, and the living room now has furniture. Unfortunately, the plumbing in our apartment is not first rate, so we are waiting on maintenance to come fix the toilets.
I started working for the school newspaper. I got a movie review published and am now interim calendar coordinator, which means I get to know everything that's going on on campus and in town (though I still don't actually attend any of it). If you go to the website, you can find my review as well as see that almost all calendar events were submitted by moi.

Speaking of moi, I have started school-I have four credits humanities, four credits aesthetics, four credits french, and two credits creative writing. (I think this is the best way to explain my course load to non "greeners", as they call us up here.) I love the subject, but school is kicking my butt. I spent 10 hours on homework today. 10! I'm finding French pretty easy to understand, but it's still 8 hours of homework-apart from basic studying. I am in school eight hours a day just in class, and the other night (between class and the paper) I didn't get home till 11 pm. I am still broke, despite my hard work. ;) I am accepting donations if you want to send me a personal check or money order. I still haven't found a real job yet, but I will be going to an employment workshop tomorrow. The images above are my view on my way to class (so lucky) and my view from the back corner of the bus (not so lucky, just crammed!)
On the fun side of things, my roommates and I went to Seattle the other day. J'adore Seattle! (Side effect of the French. I've been dreaming in it, which is awkward seeing as I've only had two classes and don't know much yet.) I was very disciplined, only buying food, ferry tickets, and okay, one book for my mother because it's going out of print and I couldn't resist. (It is coming Mommy, I just have to buy stamps!)

Britnee, Jean, Me.
Now a note from Toby-what he doesn't like and does like about college.
Dislikes:
Being confined in the apartment all day.
The declining frequency of treats.
Taking showers.
Being alone.
Most of the dogs at hearthstone, notably that smug boston terrier-pug mix.
Likes:
The balcony.
The smells.
The balcony.
The fact that going outside lasts longer than 2 minutes.
The blacony.
One of the dogs at hearthstone, namely the papillon that lives next door.
The balcony.
Chasing Girlfriend all over the apartment.
The balcony.

Toby in his chair and the yard, respectively.

Toby actually has taken an upswing in energy, and he's lost a little weight. I do get worried because after his monthly bath, he gets much colder here than in Salt Lake. I wrapped him in a dog coat and t-shirt, which he hated, but it's better than the violent shiver he had just before I put it on. Strangely, I miss Toby just as much as anyone. I'm always worring that he needs to go out and I don't know it, that he didn't get fed enough, that he misses me. His seperation anxiety was pretty bad my first week at the paper-he even peed inside. I feel a little bit better when he's able to wander about the pines on the dog run, or when I snuggle him and he seems happy. I have definetly decided that I'm going to get a pizza and breadsticks for us to share one day, like we used to on my days off when there was no one at home to hear his complaints. I'm sure Toby would love familiar visitors, hint hint.

I also need a Ruby Tuesday cherry coke at least once a month I've decided. I'm jonesing, I tell you. And while not quite as effervescently lovely as Millie's, they're pretty good.

New Post on My New Life

2009-09-10T15:46:00.000-06:00

So now that I am finally unpacked and generally settled (if not actually organized), I can blog all about my adventures in Olympia thus far.
Getting here has been one hell of a ride. The car died 22 miles outside of Baker, Oregon. (Miraculously, we were able to slowly find a Dealership with what has to be the nicest man on the planet) Then Mother and I got lost in Pendleton, Oregon, likely further screwing up the car. That night I got sick-fever, chills, and everything. Nevertheless, here I am.
My apartment has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, one kitchen/dining area, one balcony, one huge living room, one washer/dryer, and no couch.The four occupants are me, Toby, Jean, and Britnee. I would consider our kitchen, dining room, and the bathroom I share with Jean done. Our kitchen/dining room is blue and yellow, and our bathroom is green. The whole place is gorgeous, the apartment and the grounds. Toby loves the outdoors, there are lots of new smells and rich grass. There is even a dog run where he is free to hang out sans leash. Toby hates our stairs. He refuses to go down them, I think because he can't see very well or his depth perception is off or something. He cries and frets. Since I don't want him relieving himself on our front porch, I must pick him up and carry him down from the third floor.
Toby has adjusted very well. He is okay to be left alone in my boudoir and he enjoys chasing Girlfriend all over the house. He also enjoys the balcony, but has a tendency to talk to every single car that drives by. He is quite exhausted, as am I, which is why this blog isn't very well written.

More to come...

Book Review: How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World: The Art of Living with Style, Class & Grace by Jordan Christy

2009-08-20T20:20:00.001-06:00

How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World: The Art of Living with Style, Class & Grace by Jordan Christy

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This book makes a good point and has some good quotes, plus some fun quizzes. I didn't feel like I was told anything I didn't already know, but this was definitely a fun read.

View all my reviews >>

Book Review-Primitive by Mark Nykanen

2009-08-08T23:33:00.000-06:00

Primitive by Mark Nykanen

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book was awesome-it keeps your attention right up to the last page. It makes you think, it's entertaining, the characters are relateable...
Truly fascinating look at climate change and the radicals on either side of the fence. Also very frighteningly current.

View all my reviews >>

The Hero's Journey

2009-07-23T21:28:00.002-06:00

I posted a new video. It was created by someone named Ciaran Vejby and it's from a site called Myths-Dreams-Symbols. It's about the hero's journey. Basically every (good) story in the world follows this basic pattern. This is what I'm studying, more or less, in school. These stories are awesome because, in one sense or another, they are all true. We all go through this.
So watch and enjoy.

Devil's Feathers

2009-06-14T00:00:00.001-06:00

Devil's Feathers by David Chacko

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
I really enjoyed this book. It is fast-paced and entertaining, but well written enough to be far from a guilty pleasure. I can see this ending up on PBS' Masterpiece Mystery someday.

I was also excited to find out that there are other stories about Onur Levent, as his character was by far the most interesting part of the story. The plot may or may not be somewhat predictable, I for one was more interested in Levent's process.

So while this book is not life changing, it is perfect summer reading for the reader who is bored with chick lit and typical mystery novels. I will definitely read Chacko again.

View all my reviews.

Transcendentalism

2009-06-07T00:00:00.000-06:00

Transcendentalism can be defined as a belief system that adheres to the existence of a higher spiritual reality. This ideal reality transcends empirical knowledge and can only be experienced through intuitive, spiritual experience. At first look, this definition seems like it could have aspects in many religions and philosophies, and indeed it does seem to lend itself to any mystical or supernatural idea. So how can we understand transcendentalism for what it truly is? We begin by looking at the history of transcendentalist thought, and then explore the ideas and contributions of some of it’s major thinkers.

Transcendentalism begins as a form of Unitarianism, which itself begins as a deviation from orthodox Calvinism. Unitarians rejected the Calvin doctrines of predestination and the Trinity. Predestination is the belief that all events, including those in the next life, have already been determined and are now unavoidable; therefore free will does not exist. Many people, including Unitarians, find this outlook as rather bleak. Calvinists in the 18^th and early 19^th centuries also had a habit of encouraging speculation on who was destined to be saved, a rather alienating (not to mention philosophically pointless) practice. Unitarians believe in free will, and hold that one can create one’s own “fate”. The Unitarians gain their name from their rejection of the Trinity, or the mainstream Christian idea that God is one being with three consciousnesses or manifestations. While various groups had various ways of interpreting Christianity this way, usually by rejecting the divinity of Jesus, all agreed that God is one and only one personage or consciousness. William Ellery Channing is considered the Unitarians leading pastor at the time, in part because he adopted the once derogatory term Unitarian to describe his beliefs in 1819. He greatly influenced transcendentalists by his proposition that humans could “partake” of divinity and therefore become closer to and more like God.

However, transcendentalists did reject the idea that miracles proved the truth of religion, an attempt to prove the existence of God empirically. In an address to the Harvard Divinity School in 1838, Ralph Waldo Emerson expounded his (and other transcendentalists) view that “conversion by miracles is a profanation of the soul.” The miracles described in scripture cannot be considered empirical because it is not first hand experience , but even if one saw a miracle, one would not be truly converted-that required something else. Emerson also attacked the church as an “injuror of man” a direct contradiction of true Christianity. Andrews Norton, the so-called “Unitarian Pope”, publicly and angrily responded to Emerson’s “incoherent rhapsody”. It became clear that this new school of thought was not to become a religious interpretation of Unitarianism but a completely new branch of independent philosophy.

While transcendentalism can be seen as a mode of thought, there are key components thereof and, as Emerson pointed out, it has root in philosophical traditions of Plato, Hume, and Kant. Transcendentalism holds that a) Each individual has free will and a portion of divinity within them and can receive personal revelation through the form of intuition; b) This world is an often symbolic representation of higher powers; c) Science, the senses, and institutions (including religion) can only go so far to help us understand this world and the “higher reality”. It is intuition and the action of the individual that must do the rest. Transcendentalist thought has had immense influence on American art and spirituality to this day, but we will focus on four major thinkers and their ideas to better understand this radical belief system.

The Eccentric: Amos Bronson Alcott

Connecticut, 1799-1888

"The good Alcott; with his long, lean face and figure, with his worn gray temples and mild, radiant eyes; all bent on saving the world by a return to acorns and the golden age; he comes before one like a venerable Don Quixote, whom nobody can laugh at without loving." –Thomas Carlyle

The most extreme transcendentalist was Amos Bronson Alcott. Alcott received very little formal school, however he managed to teach himself to read and write, becoming a self-educator and an innovative educator of others.

Deviating sharply from the norm, Alcott believed that education should be about freeing the child to follow his/her natural impulses. It should also be philosophical and physical in nature. Alcott introduced gymnastics, playtime, and even human physiology into classrooms, reflecting his belief that mind and body were of equal importance. He used teaching techniques such as the honor system and Socratic dialogue. His methods raised much suspicion and when he admitted an African-American child into his school in Boston, it was closed. This first school, held in a Masonic Temple, was not the last. The Alcotts were always poor, until daughter Louisa May Published best-seller Little Women.

Alcott was very mystical, even for a transcendentalist. He believed that spirit was the only reality, everything else emanated from it. He believed in intuition to the point of visions, and that humanity had been in an existence before the current one, or preexistence. He also thought that humans can find truth without organized religion, an idea that attracted many to transcendentalism.

Transcendentalists were criticized as being brilliant but impractical, and this was certainly true of Alcott. However, in Conord, Alcott was able to do his job freely and met with success. He started the Concord Summer School of Philosophy and Literature, which ran for nine years. Despite his radicalness at the time, Alcott influenced many modern educators by expounding the idea of a teacher having responsibility to the students.

The Sage: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Massachusetts, 1803-1882

“How rare he was; how original in thought; how true in character!” –The Chicago Tribune

Ralph Waldo Emerson is considered “the most thought-provoking American cultural leader of the mid-nineteenth century”. Though he was a dissident and unorthodox, at his death at age seventy-nine he was eulogized extravagantly.

Emerson was the son and grandson of ministers, and despite being raised by a poor single mother, entered Harvard at age fourteen. He became a Unitarian minister at age twenty-three. As we have seen above, he eventually left the church; among other things, he no longer believed in Communion. He became a popular attraction at lecture clubs, eventually organizing his own courses. These later comprised his books. While Emerson’s lectures were not always agreed with, or even understood, they were always popular. He created controversy by attacking materialism, organized religion and slavery. He is considered the epitomal transcendentalist, though he never seemed comfortable with that term. He did hold to the ideas of individuality, and wrote of something called the Over-Soul, which we should try to harmonize with. (This can be compared to the Holy Spirit or Tao.) Emerson’s real purpose was to help create an American culture, which he certainly has done. He wrote and lectured about man’s nobility, nature’s link to spirituality, and God’s relation to the Universe. He was an amazing writer, poetic in his prose. His legacy is that of a brilliant writer and speaker, wise and sincere.

The Prodigy: Sarah Margaret Fuller

Massachusetts, 1810-1850

“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.” –Sarah Margaret Fuller

Sarah Margaret Fuller is one of the many under-appreciated women of history, however it may be because her life ended tragically, rather than due to her womanhood. One gets the impression that Fuller would not let that happen. Fuller’s father was supportive of her education, beginning her Latin lessons at six. She soon was reading classical literature and writing.

Fuller began giving lectures at clubs, but soon faced criticism for speaking to audiences that included men. Rather than retreating into obscurity, she cleverly decided to give lectures at home, as “conversations”. This resulted in her book Women in the Nineteenth Century, in which she discussed social restrictions on women, as well as how they could fulfill their potential. Fuller became the editor of the transcendentalist journal The Dial. Her excellent artistic and literary criticism got her a job as a critic for the New York Tribune.

Fuller eventually settled in Rome, where she and her husband fought for independence from Papal authority, which failed. She wrote heavily during this time, which resulted in a history of the failed revolution. Sadly, Fuller, her husband, and son died in a shipwreck off Fire Island. As if this wasn’t tragic enough, the entire history of the Roman Revolution was also lost.

The Rebel: Henry David Thoreau

Massachusetts, 1817-1862

“His soul was made for the noblest society.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Henry David Thoreau has had a global influence, particularly the idea of civil disobedience, which influenced, among others, Mohandas Gandhi. He was also a notable nature writer.

Thoreau gained a reputation as an individualist at Harvard. While not unpopular, he spent his time writing, determined to be a writer no matter what. Of course, this was an impractical career, and most of Thoreau’s life was spent attempting to survive and write at the same time.

Thoreau’s ideas mainly focused on nature, to which he seemed almost addicted. While transcendentalism holds nature as a symbol of higher truths, Thoreau nearly deifies it. He also argued heavily for individual conscience, taking ideas of individuality and intuition to the fullest-one could (and should) break the law if that is what conscience dictates. He was even arrested for refusing to pay taxes to support a nation involved in slavery, and usually preached pacifism. He also believed one’s energy should be fully focused on what one thinks is right, avoiding any distractions, and felt that people enslave themselves at every turn. Walden, his most famous work, is essentially advice on how to avoid distraction and slavery, as well as a triumphant denial of society’s superficial values. The original title-page featured a rooster, a symbol of cocky defiance.

Thoreau was most admired by his friends (and is admired today) for his complete application of philosophical principles. While many hold philosophy or religion in the abstract, Thoreau sees it as reality. As Emerson said, he “wished to settle all his practice on an ideal foundation.”

Goodman, Russell, "Transcendentalism", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Spring 2009 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = .

http://www.answers.com

Remnants of Romanticism: Evidence of Romantics Today

2009-05-31T00:00:00.000-06:00

Remnants of Romanticism: Evidence of Romantics Today

Western Civilization: Renaissance to the Present

Khrystine Kelsey

Romanticism was an artistic and literary movement of the nineteenth century. While the meaning has been lost to many, associating the word only with erotic love, elements of romanticism are still thriving today.

The reason the term romance has been adopted by lovers the world over, is that one can often fully appreciate the romantic sensibility when one is in love. Romantics emphasize the reality of feelings, passion, and intuition. All of these come into play when one is in love-there is an intuitive connection to the other person, feelings blind reason, and everything is felt and done more passionately. The true romantic advocates being in this world at all times. Anytime we see a Dionysian character, they are romantic. Modern examples of romantic/Dionysian characters can be seen in the T.V. show Bones, an FBI drama that is essentially a comparison of Dionysian and Apollonian characters. In one episode, Agent Sealy Booth, annoyed at an ice cream truck that has interrupted his phone call, whips out his Government Issue gun, and shoots the clown shaped speaker. While one can debate the various moralities and practicalities of such an act, it is a romantic gesture.

Science has recently found that when one is in love, the mind experiences the world similarly to the mind under the influence of certain drugs. Many artists throughout the ages have taken drugs to tap into creativity, which is considered somewhat of a supreme power for romantics. While not all romantics use or advocate the use of drugs, the “sex, drugs, and rock and roll” lifestyle is thoroughly romantic. As one famous rock star said, “We’re all just a bunch of romantics born in the wrong time period.” * The stereotypical rock star, with their rule by passionate impulses such as “looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night”**, is always in this romantic mode, and their fans are also usually romantic, fully accepting the genius and power of such artists. (e.g. “That concert was totally worth $X.” “It would have been worth it if they had just played Baba O’Riley and left.” “It would have been worth it if Townsend had come out, done the windmill and left.”***)

Romantics also have a fascination with the other, and usually glamorize it, whether it is the poor, the rich, gypsies, frontiersmen, prostitutes, and the list could go on and on. Director Baz Luhrman is a modern example of this, with such movies as Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge, and Australia. As is the romantic way, all such things, even the dark, horrible, or strange, are beautiful and meaningful. These three movies are full of spectacle, and whether one enjoys them or not, they are in style and content some of the best examples of modern romanticism.

In the same vein, romantics are fascinated by the supernatural, whether it is religious, fantastical, or just plain weird. Any speculative fiction is most necessarily romantic, even if it proclaims not such romantic ideals. You simply cannot have a “naturalist” speculative fiction. Even stories written on the basis of more naturalist viewpoints, such as science fiction, end up turning out romantic in the end if only because they have a point. (Naturalists, as a response to romance, argue that nothing inherently has a point beyond science and what we say it does.) However, of course, this can be done convincingly or unconvincingly. Vampires seem to be a particularly timely example of this, as they have seen a resurgence of popularity due to Stephenie Myer’s Twilight series. Vampires are often portrayed a strangely beautiful, since the Romantic Movement society has never been able to go long without their stories. In this newest incarnation, as in virtually all others, the young maiden has a strange quasi-sexual desire to be consumed by a young strangely-virile-even-when-undead vampire. Religious subjects are usually more convincing, partly because religion also usually has an element of the supernatural in it.

Romantics are particularly interested in religion, even if many reject the organized kind. Most romantics believe in an “Absolute”, which could alternatively be called God, energy, nature, etc. It is not surprising that most romantics, if religious, follow traditions that are more mystic. Religions provide an opportunity for the romantic to more concretely visualize a perfect world.

Romanticism’s desire for idealized utopias gave rise to nationalism, in both positive and negative aspects. This broad term is the only real political one romantics agree upon, though they are also known for favoring revolutions, and some confused romantic support revolutions that eventually oppress the creativity and freedom they find so important (e.g. fascism, communism). Due to a romantic’s passionate nature, it is very easy for one to idealize nations, parties, or people. In the last administration, we have seen romantics viewing the war in Iraq as an opportunity to bring freedom to an oppressed people. We have also seen romantics who claim it is the signal for a new revolution in which the constitution is “actually upheld”. Both romantics, of course fiercely love America, and the same person based on new information or enlightenment on the issues at hand might hold both views. ****

Romantics also have a serious crush/love affair/worship (depending on the person) of nature, particularly as untamed. Nature represents the authenticity and unspoiled passions that romantics so earnestly search for. More humanistic romantics see man as a harmonious part of nature, others see us as highly detrimental to it, but both agree that humanity should check itself before making an impact on it. (An extreme view can be seen in Alan Weisman’s The World without Us.) All environmentalism is a romantic sentiment, and there has been a renewed interest in it lately as evidence for Global Warning is becoming harder to sweep under the rug. Even fashion magazines, wal-mart, and car companies, the triumvirate of consumerism have been advocating “green” practices lately. This nature also applies to people and society, especially in the case of urban romantics, whose numbers have grown throughout the last century. These romantics appreciate the universalism of a kid playing ball with a dog in the park, and see beauty in the street musician outside the theatre. Urban romantics, unheard of until the industrial revolution became widespread, have a need for nature as well. This often manifests in wanderlust, and even the most citified romantic needs time in a park now and then. As the ultimate city girl, but nonetheless romantic character Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City said, “City girls are just country girls in cuter outfits.”

One character has emerged from the romantic ideal as the romantic hero; he is sometimes called the anti-hero. This hero fights within themselves and society to be themselves. They can be moody, even obnoxious at times, and they are usually a loner. The apex of their heroism is to know themselves, rather than to conquer an outside enemy. Good examples of triumphant romantic heroes are Andre and Kyra in the book We the Living by Ayn Rand. Andre commits suicide after he realizes he is serving a corrupt state, and Kyra dies moments away from the border of the Soviet Union. Despite the tragic ends, this is a triumph romantically; both characters are free from society. A romantic tragedy would be 1984 by George Orwell, in which Winston, on the verge of being a revolutionary, is brainwashed by the state. A more recent romantic hero, who does affect society for the better (a plus but not a goal of romantic heroes), would be John Bender (played by Judd Nelson) in The Breakfast Club. While all the characters in this movie are heroes, Bender is the hero and the best example of a romantic one. Class is not important to romantic heroes; Bender is at the lowest end of the spectrum. He is the loner, and seriously offends every other character at least once. He is a revolutionary in the sense that he is completely against the administration of the school. He even has long unkempt hair, reminiscent of paintings of Byron. The school is the ultimate romantic villain-not an individual, but a body, who uses fear and trades on authority to abuse the students, who are not to be believed, even (or especially) by their parents.

Romanticism can cause many problems. Even to a self-proclaimed romantic like me, it is not always ideal. I am a humanist first, a romantic humanist, not a humanistic romantic. I see no point in contemplating a world without us, even if I do believe in creating sustainability. I am a city girl myself, which gives me authority to write on urban romantics. I believe, at least politically, that we should be tempered by reason. Nevertheless, as a romantic, I will never stop believing that people are at their best when given complete freedom to live their ideals. I will never be convinced that I am imagining things when my intuition is telling me what to do. I will always keep a healthy respect for the supernatural, not messing with what I do not understand. I am artistically of the romantic school, and even historically. I will assume people are and were noble until given evidence to the contrary. You will find me in any group of people determined to make the world as it should be, and not merely what it is. To quote another romantic, undoubtedly my biggest influence, “You will find me at the foot of every rainbow, searching for the vision seldom seen.” *****

http://webs.wofford.edu/whisnantcj/his102outlines/romanticism_characteristics.htm

http://www.kindreason.com/archives/4heroes.htm

*I do not remember who said this, which bothers me, as it is one of my favorite quotes.

**Wayne’s World 2.

***My friends and me after a Who concert.

****Also me.

*****Eli Benjamin Kelsey, a song that may or may not have a name.

Assembled Art Project: The Wheel Goddess

2009-05-24T00:00:00.000-06:00

Assembled Art Project: The Wheel Goddess

Art 1010

Khrystine Danielle Kelsey

Title: The Wheel Goddess

Genre: Collage

Date Completed: April 27, 2009

Materials: Computer scanner, photo editing programs, Microsoft paint, photographs. Photograph of Sharon Leal by Carter Smith, Allure Magazine, May 2009. “Muladhara” found at http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2007-03/banyan-tree-aerial-root.jpg. “Svadhisthana” found at http://www.cssnz.org/flower.jpg. “Manipura” found at http://www.shelbygems.com/assets/images/gems_on_white.jpg. “Anahata” drawn by Kelsey using Microsoft paint. “Vishudda” found at http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_189/1190716985u445S8.jpg. “Ajna” cut and pasted from copy of Smith photograph. “Sahasrara” found at http://www.lakewoodconferences.com/direct/dbimage/50291185/Royal__Crown.jpg.

I have always been fascinated with collages as a form of borrowed art. Collage, like many forms of design (e.g. fashion, furniture, architecture) is art that is appropriated for ones own uses. The difference is that while these other elements may be as embellished or as purely functional as the artist desires, collage is always conscious of the desire to create a new artistic piece, with a message that may be completely different from the original artist. Especially considered in my re-interpretation of Carter Smith’s photograph was how technology affects art, the blending of East and West, and the prominence of the nude in art, especially the female nude in portraiture.

My basic purpose of this work was to show how modern women, and indeed women of all time represent the characteristics of the goddess-the female archetype that embodies fertility, transformation, and wisdom. The original Smith photograph (below) was, I believe, intended to show the same thing in a more straightforward “modern” sense. The compelling aspect is the mix of softness and strength. I however wanted to show that this is not just an aspect of the modern woman, and that we in our modern society are much less removed from the primeval, mysterious, and magical than we think.

It seems that much of western art from Impressionism to the present has been concerned with portraying the modern as something new, when really it is just the fact that we are here, and not our parents, that make this particular zeitgeist so exciting. This is not a criticism, we should feel this way. Nevertheless, the times we truly feel ourselves rock with the cradle of the world, there is an awareness of certain things that transcend time. Eastern art and philosophy, at least in places where it is allowed to flourish such as India, seem to have more awareness of this. Kundalini Yoga is an old practice that has gained popularity among people who ironically refer to themselves as “new age”. Kundalini is a meditation on various energy centers associated with various parts of the body and represented by chakras, a Sanskrit word that means wheels. (Hence the title, “Wheel Goddess”.) The ideal is that these wheels be spinning at all times, ensuring the correct flow of energy in all areas of ones life. I chose an object to represent each of the seven wheels, some based on tradition, some based on interpretation. I wanted to create a feel of modernity and antiquity by combining nature with vestiges of middle history and the modern metal curtains the model Sharon Leal is wrapped in.

I created most of “Wheel Goddess” on a computer. I believe there are those who question whether anything created through these means can really be called art, just as there were with photography at one time. I do not wish to discuss this in much detail, but it is interesting to note perhaps how much simpler it is to find the materials for a collage. However, it is not necessarily easy to do a collage this way, unlike with glossy magazine cutouts, the textures of the various photographs are not the same, neither are the quality of the photographs. This creates a weakness in that the collage is not as unified, has blocky sections, and is less organic than a traditional hands-on creation.

Leal is nude in the photograph. This is nothing new in art. Artists choose to portray women nude for many reasons. Sometimes it is simply part of the theme, such as a woman bathing. Sometimes it is to make the scene idyllic; the woman is innocently without her clothes, like a child might be after he escapes his mother trying to dress him when he has better things to do. It is also used to convey a sense of timelessness or eternity, as in my interpretation in this collage. For many it is an aesthetic celebration of the body (as in the original photograph), for some it verges on the scientific, and for pornographers it is intended to facilitate sexual climax. Despite the fact that they are not inherently erotic, many people are uncomfortable with nudes. Indeed, there may be a fine line between aesthetics and erotica, and erotica and pornography. Some may feel this line is thicker, some thinner. I have struggled with my own definitions, which I believe are important on a personal level. Smith’s photograph served my purposes of a timeless open, confident woman well, yet the original photograph is erotic, more so than the others in the series it came from, and I hesitated using it. Perhaps what bothers so many people about the nude in art is the projections of the artist on the subject. That is why aesthetic and erotic nudes (yes, even in photograph) don’t bother me, the subject is sharing of his (though usually her) self. Pornographic and scientific nudes both treat the subject as an object, to be examined or used. This is not my intention with “Wheel Goddess”. She is a powerful woman who transcends earthly trappings of clothes or the lack of them.

Book Review-Mixed Blood by Roger Smith

2009-05-17T00:00:00.000-06:00

Mixed Blood: A Thriller by Roger Smith

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars
Smith is a screenwriter, and you can tell reading this book-it's very cinematic. This book makes you want to keep reading, and it's fast paced. However, there are several very disturbing images, and it's hard to tell if the characters really redeem themselves. Maybe they're not supposed to. I didn't dislike this book, but I was relieved to finally finish it.

View all my reviews.

Since Last I Wrote...

2009-05-10T14:45:00.010-06:00

I have taken finals, gone to Seattle, given my hair a makeover, become an aunt again, and attended one and a half parties.
Finals: Grades haven't come out yet, but my anatomy final (which scared me a ton) seemed a lot better than I expected. I am almost worried that the teacher will be suspicious that I actually know something. I will likely be posting final papers, but I think I will wait until grades for the semester are officially posted to "publish." I also will be posting a final art project, so you all can judge me. ;)
Seattle: Seattle was great, I truly love it up there. Our first night in town we attended a new student party at Safeco Field. I was surprised to publicly recieve a scholarship award and also to find a fellow Salty. (As in Salt Lake City Resident.) So evidently I will not be the only Utahn at Evergreen. We stayed at the Raddisson, which was very nice. They have sleep number beds that are soooo comfy. My number is thirty-five, by the way.
Saturday we drove down to Olympia to explore the campus. I had seen the campus before, about three years ago, but this time I explored a little more. There are these awesome little trails I think Toby will love to go for walks on. I also looked into finding a place to live. That makes me a little nervous because it occurs to me that I might need things like rental history and in-state cosigners, neither of which I have. Luckily, Daddy seems like he'll be very supportive and will do what he can to help me find a nice place.
On Sunday, Daddy and I went to play in the city. We ate at Ivar's, which is a famous fish place near the docks. I had deep-fried salmon. It was really good, but I spent most of my time throwing french fries to the seagulls. Seagulls aren't all creepy and greedy, like pigeons get. I even held out a fry that a seagull took from my hand! Then we went shopping at Pike Place Market. Those who know my shopaholic ways will be impressed to hear I only spent ten dollars on myself at the Market. I bought a suede Pony Tail Wrap. It's wraps around your hair and almost looks like it's been braided. I love it. I find cities so inspiring, and I have decided to rename my blog accordingly. Street musicians, people swing dancing in front of Starbucks...awesome.
The day before finals, I decided to dye my hair a deep rich brown. I bought some Nice 'n' Easy hair color and ended up with black hair. I really had to get used to it. I'm okay with it now-I even sorta like it-but I think when it's time to do it again, I'll just re-do it.
On May 6th, at 6:26 pm, JoAnna and Jeffrey had their baby, Rayne Miranda. She is gorgeous! She has sparkly, pretty green eyes. JoAnna and Rayne stayed with us last night, and are planning to for a while I think.
On the 8th, Friday, my friends Sara and Natalie graduated with their bachelors of anthropology and family sciences, respectively. We all hung out at Natalie's place that afternoon along with Aurora an Alexa (in this picture). Natalie's sisters and mom were there too, but I don't have pictures of them. :( The next day I was supposed to go to my friend Ginger's baby shower. She's having twin boys on the twenty-third of June. I woke up on Saturday exhausted (I don't know why-I didn't have a baby) and didn't leave the house until 12:40. The shower started at noon, but I couldn't buzz into the apartment (not hers). It just didn't work. So later I stopped by and dropped off her present at her place. But it was still good because it was just her, her mom and youngest sister Nicki. So I got to find out how the whole family, who I've basically adopted, was doing.
So this week, I turn twenty-one, on Tuesday. My niece's daughter Hunter will be one on Wednesday. My brother Eli will be in town from Florida, so that's pretty awesome. And today is mother's day. So in honor of that, let me just say how cool and stylish my mother is. As bad as this will sound, the more I hear about other people's mothers, the more I appreciate my own. So here's to Mother!

Pack o' quotes

2009-04-19T12:38:00.001-06:00

"When things that are of the greatest importance are passed over by weak-minded men without even a thought, I want to see truth in all its bearings and hug it to my bosom...I never hear of a man being damned for believing too much; but they are damned for unbelief."-Joseph Smith

"Even if there is only one possible unified theory, it is just a set of rules and equations. What is it that breathes fire into the equations and makes a universe for them to describe? The usual approach of science of constructing a mathematical model cannot answer the questions of why there should be a universe for the model to describe. Why does the universe go to all the bother of existing?"
— Stephen W. Hawking (A Brief History of Time)

"If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet."
— Keith Richards

"Devotion to the truth is the hallmark of morality; there is no greater, nobler, more heroic form of devotion than the act of a man who assumes the responsibility of thinking."
— Ayn Rand

"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane."
— Philip K. Dick

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww'"
— Jack Kerouac

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."- Marianne Williamson

Seattle

2009-03-11T13:54:00.002-06:00

So I am officially going to Seattle in April. After I somewhat covertly purchased tickets and a hotel reservation, my dad has decided to come along. Good Times!

Unreal...

2009-02-02T21:21:00.002-07:00

I feel kind of out of it and weird lately. I was going to study all day long, but I didn't. I did work out and take Toby for a walk, which he enjoyed, but that was about it.
My work is having a conference in Utah County on Saturday and I'm encouraged to go, but I'm not. I have so little time/motivation lately that I don't do anything on the weekends but study. Well I did have dinner with friends on Saturday, but not until like after 9:00. Sunday I fell asleep at like 10! I'm thinking sleeping in the afternoon might work better, but I doubt it.
Ugh. I'm just so tired lately. I think having a clean warm room would help-but no time for that either. I want tranquility and femininity and wealth, not of money, but of ideas and comfort.
Oh, I don't know what to say. Blah.

What's up with me???

2009-01-25T21:45:00.003-07:00

So this has been an interesting week.
I've been accepted to two schools now, one in Olympia and one in Chicago. Yea!!!! I'm very excited but also twisty and nervous.
Part of the reason I'm nervous is that school is not going very well, largely because the bookstore has decided I don't really need my books after all. I barely passed my first anatomy test-52%-which I still think is pretty good for not reading the chapter.
Also, I really feel like I have no space. My dad bought me a space heater, which didn't really work, so I've lived outside of my room for a while now. I either don't have the time or the inclination to do anything about it.
I bought Toby some bath stuff, which is good because his face gets really dirty and stinky. It makes him smell really good but he's still really itchy everywhere else. Last night I kept waking up to him crying and trying to scratch himself. So I pick him up and try to comfort him, help him reach his tail, coax him back to sleep, etc. This happened three or four times throughout the night. So my alarm goes off at seven this morning and I decide I can sleep until seven-thirty. Besides I'm having a lovely nightmare about getting fired for breaking all the toys in the day-care, which also results in me getting excommunicated. Of course the next time I'm aware of the alarm going off, it's like 9:30, and so much for Sacrament Meeting. I end up sleeping in really late. This is what frustrates me. Apparently, of late, I have a complete lack of discipline.
I have been eating better, but for today, even if calorie wise I ate enough/not too much, it was totally horrible food. Which leads me to the thing that truly freaks me out-my skin. I have some sort of bizarre rash on my torso, so I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I have an inkling it might be stress related. But I feel scared-yes scared-that no one will believe me. Believe that I've been stressed out. Because I'm happy in general, but can't I still be stressed, overwhelmed, preoccupied? It seems like anytime I ever feel anything, it must be that I'm not eating enough, I have too much sugar, etc. My mind lately is either crammed full or nearly empty. I'm having a hard time spelling, focusing my eyes, thinking clearly. I feel so tired. I feel like this at the beginning of every year. Is it twisted Spring Fever? I don't get it. I just want someone to tell me it's okay, but who would it have to be in order for me to believe it?

Book Review-The Note by Kay Bognar

2009-01-19T15:04:00.001-07:00

Miranda Jenkin's best friend is lost at sea. He was seen throwing a bottle overboard containing a note for her. Miranda finds herself becoming obsessed by her search for it.

I received this book as an early reviewer, and to be honest, was only mildly interested by the plot. I however found myself sucked in immediately and couldn't put it down. It is truly more interesting if you have just the slightest hint of what the book is about, although one wonders how successful the book will be with it's two-second teaser. Though the novel is written for young adults, the style of writing is somewhat old-fashioned, which I personally enjoyed. The only complaint I had was that the pacing seemed off. Some events take forever to describe, while others happen so fast that I read them twice to make sure I'd processed it. I hope enough people pick up this book to discover the weird and wonderful plot inside.

Individulaism Throughout The Ages

2009-01-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

4. Greece had a strong individualist ethic. Man was the measure of all things and reason reigned. Socrates and Aristotle had forgiving views of human morality; immorality was the result of ignorance or imbalance rather than a desire to defy God or consort with Satan. Therefore, the individual didn’t have to be afraid of himself. One was allowed to think, to reason, to consult different sources such as the Oracle, the mind, or the world around to gain knowledge. Each individual was believed to have a specific fate that was his/hers and his/hers alone. The deities were highly individualized and personal. This most democratic, in the literal sense of the word, society allowed and indeed expected each citizen to be fully aware and involved in politics, ostracized when they were not at court to give opinion rather than for dissenting ones.
Gnostic Christianity was also intensely individualistic. Gnosticism, meaning to know, held that to know oneself was to know God and vise versa. They took the Biblical phrase “The Kingdom of God is within you,” to a much more literal extent than did so called “orthodox” Christianity. Christianity is a highly individualistic religion, the focus is on the individual soul’s achievement rather than the group one belongs to, and the doctrine of repentance shows the individual’s ability to change and progress in spite of past mistakes.
Orthodox Christianity did not embrace individualism to this extent, at least not at first. The western doctrine of original sin (this does not exist in the Eastern orthodox religions today, but Catholics and most Protestants in the west still hold to it) claims that we are all guilty for Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden. This doctrine arguably negates individuality, because it means one can be held responsible for another’s actions-and what is individual if not the actions, thoughts, and words of one person as opposed to another? (One may say that all Christianity, if following this logic, negates individuality. This however depends largely on how the atonement actually works in one theology vs. another.) While salvation is an individual process, orthodoxy (which means narrow way) held that all individuals had to do the same individual things-and conformity, no matter how small the group or the similarity, is necessarily the opposite of individualism.
The Romance of Tristan and Isolde, who are conspicuously absolved of sin by any picky readers through the drinking of a love potion, widened the road for individuals a bit. Romantic love is an individual thing-it is the defining, individual characteristics of the lovers that draw them to each other.
Parzival, then, takes this to the next level. Parzival can only save the fisher king by asking him what is wrong, which is frowned upon by society. Each knight must take their own path. Parzival’s “heathen” brother representing nature is brought into the fold. The grail king can only find relief when looking into his soul. The story is replete with individualism.

Femininity Throughout The Ages

2008-12-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Egyptian culture seemed to have a healthy respect for the feminine principle. Isis was one of the most revered deities, and also had an influence on later cultures. Several pharaohs were woman, and queens such as Nefertiti have been sufficiently revered that their names and images are with us today. Women appear as more than just slave girls in Egyptian art. Some woman even portrayed themselves with (and wore false) facial hair, which was not to deny their femininity, but rather to symbolize wisdom.
Socially, Minoan women had the same status as men, and ate with men. Many sculptures from Minoan sites portray fierce and beautiful goddesses that were fertile and strong.
Greek culture seemed to have contradictory ideas about women. Socially, women were treated as second class, with few exceptions like Asphasia and Sappho. (It should be noted however that Sappho was from Lesbos, a Greek Island that had slightly more progressive views.) Yet when one reads Greek literature, strong women abound. Lysistrata, Clytemnestra, Antigone, Medea-whatever one may think of their actions, these characters are certainly powerful. And what of the goddesses? A veritable pantheon of women. Yet one notes an interesting pattern. Excluding Persephone, the women fall into three categories: Mother (Demeter and Hestia), Sexual (Hera and Aphrodite), and Virginal (Athena and Artemis). This almost anticipates the “Madonna-Whore” Complex. We have goddesses of the hearth and earth who are necessary, kind, but have few of their own stories. Demeter’s story shows her as the ultimate good mother, who is so distraught at the loss of a child, the whole world is plunged into winter. Hera and Aphrodite use sex to get what they want, and Artemis and Athena are sometimes androgynous.
Judaism, which also has many noble female characters and even had relative protection of women’s rights when it came to divorce, failed to bring these stories to their full feminine power. There are elusive references to prophetesses in the Bible; the story of Esther is one of heroism. The flaw in Judaism is not that they completely ignored the feminine, but just that in most communities it was played down as secondary to the masculine.
Gnostic Christianity had an incredibly progressive view of gender equality. Jesus’ disciples preached that God is “no respecter of persons”, but rather sees all humanity regardless of sex, ethnicity, etc. as equal. In the Gospels of Thomas and Mary Magdalene, which Gnostics adhered to, Jesus advocated a balance of masculine and feminine power and even showed a special admiration for Mary Magdalene.
These gospels have been (and still are) rejected by mainstream Christianity. The codifying of “official” Christian scripture instead favored other writings, such as Paul’s ambiguous writings about marriage. The relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene has been played down, denied, or scandalized by many people depending on their motives and respect for Christianity in general. One Christian writer, namely this one, thinks that the denial of this relationship is unnecessary, and that whatever the extent of this friendship (or more) it is largely irrelevant to the basic theology of Christianity.
As early medieval priests in the mainstream decided to remain celibate, the role of woman again became relegated to one of sex: women are a vehicle of childbirth or of sexual pleasure, and this pleasure was deemed carnal and evil. This was supported by the two basic female archetypes that existed in early medieval Europe: Ma Donna Mary, or Eve, portrayed as a sinner and a whore. It became accepted that the “Forbidden Fruit” Eve and Adam tasted was actually sex, and that because Eve “tasted” it first, she seduced Adam beyond his ability to resist. The account in Genesis merely states that the fruit was knowledge, which may be sexual or not. This view further simplifies women as only having to do with sex, makes villainy of sex, and over simplifies characters in a book that is incredibly complex.
In the High Middle Ages, this began to shift in other realms, though the church still tried to keep a short leash on things. Eleanor of Aquitaine provided a strong female role model and supported old Celtic stories that celebrated “natural” impulses like sex and curiosity and fused them with Christian ideals of service, mercy, and sanctity. The cult of the virgin arose, honoring Mary not just in the simplified role as mother of God, but also as a strong woman who agreed to an enormous task that included supporting her son’s controversial doctrine and watching him be martyred under the brutal Roman system of capital punishment. This holistic synthesis paved the way for women’s rights up to the present, not only in the sense of community respect, but self-respect.

Christmas: Santa, Presents, Magic and Miracles.

2008-12-24T19:58:00.002-07:00

When I was little I asked Santa for a star. Santa, in his wisdom, said he would place one above the house for me. And there it was, Christmas night, in the Northeast.
Two or three years later, we were moving and I was sad for my star. We would be leaving it.
One night, in my new house I looked to the sky. In the Northwest, there was a star. My star. I thought I imagined it. But after several nights, it was still there. And it is right up there in the winter, every winter.
I know it's mine. I just know.
So that's why I believe in Santa Claus.
Merry Christmas.

Eleanor of Aquitaine

2008-12-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

Eleanor of Aquitaine held the titles of duchess of Aquitaine, queen of France, and queen of England. She was known for her beauty and intelligence, influencing our ideas about romantic love and relationships to the present day.
Eleanor was the oldest daughter of Duke Guillame X Duke of Aquitaine and his wife Anor. She had one younger sister, Petronilla, and one younger brother, Agret. Aquitaine was the epicenter of European culture, and Eleanor had rare access to education. She was an engaged and intelligent student. Her mother, younger brother, and father all died when she was young, and at the age of fifteen she inherited Aquitaine, land area that was larger than the official land of the king of France. At this time she also married Prince Louis Capet of France. Shortly afterwards his father King Louis “The Fat” died from food poisoning and the teenagers became monarchs.
Louis had been prepared for a career in the Church, but became the heir to the throne when his older brother died. Meek and pious, he was an odd match for the lively and inquisitive Eleanor.
In 1141, at age 19, Eleanor offered one thousand vassals in support of the Second Crusade, led by her religious husband. She also insisted on accompanying Louis with some 300 women. Eleanor intended for her women to be nursemaids, caring for the sick and wounded. It seems Eleanor was supporting her husband, but the legends surrounding her women suggest she may have had more ironic intentions in mind. The women allegedly dressed in the fashion of the Amazons, the legendary army of women. They rode white horses and carried arms (which they did not use) and attempted to rally troops. It is interesting to note that it was after this crusade the church barred women from accompanying the crusaders in any capacity, something Louis supported. One wonders about the intentions of Eleanor’s crusade-perhaps she was staking a claim for dominance in the relationship. Perhaps she found a way to reintegrate classical, “pagan” ideas and wanted to spread them. Perhaps she meant to represent nurture, as a protest to violence. Whatever her motives, the crusades became the turning point for the royal couple’s relationship.
In Antioch, Eleanor deepened her friendship with her uncle Raymond, who was young and charismatic. They were so close that rumors spread of an affair. Raymond had more military prowess than Louis, and suggested that the Christians focus on protecting their existing presence in the Middle East, but Louis insisted on conquering Jerusalem. Louis’ plan required more time and resources, and was likely to be more violent. Eleanor advocated Raymond’s plan, and (jealous?) indignant Louis insisted she come with him to Israel. It was at this time that the young queen showed public disdain for Louis. Their marriage was illegal, she claimed, unrecognized by God, and therefore should be annulled. While many wondered if Eleanor had had sex with her uncle, she began protesting her marriage on the grounds that it was incestuous. She and Louis were relatives, as many nobles were, and their relationship was close enough to fall under the umbrella of consanguinity in the powerful eyes of the church.
Louis forcibly took Eleanor further on his crusade, which was, as Raymond had predicted, a disaster. The couple pleaded with the Pope for a divorce, but it was denied. He instead recommended they live as any other husband and wife, and the couple had two daughters. In spite of the children and other appearances of unity, both parties knew that the relationship was dissolved. Finally, in 1152, the marriage was annulled.
Thirty year old Eleanor would then marry someone much younger than herself-Henry of Anjou, who became Henry II, King of England. Once again, Eleanor found herself a queen. While Henry and Eleanor never divorced, and their marriage resulted in a large brood of eight children to her first marriages two, their relationship was equally tempestuous, if not more so. Rumors may have risen about Eleanor and Louis, but Henry was openly unfaithful to Eleanor. He even seduced one of his future daughters in law.
In 1169, Henry and Eleanor agreed that Eleanor should focus on managing the duchy at Aquitaine. Eleanor cooperated with Henry in the interest of their children, but remained largely independent in her views and responsibilities. She celebrated the glory of Aquitaine, working to keep it relatively sovereign. Eleanor once again established Aquitaine as a cultural center. Her oldest daughter Marie, now a countess, joined her to sponsor artists and intellectuals such as Chrétien De Troyes, who some believe was in love with Marie. Marie also wrote the famous “Code of Love” which included many feminist ideals not generally practiced at the time. Eleanor sponsored a corresponding “Court of Love” where she and other women would arbitrate romantic disputes. Their rulings influenced art and poetry, popularizing and legitimizing romantic and erotic love. The women at Aquitaine influenced these ideas in such a way that many of our current ideas about love and sex to this day; ideas like the importance of loyalty, the relation of intimacy to sex, etc.
In 1173, Eleanor’s sons revolted against their father. She supported them, and Henry imprisoned her in London for 16 years. She was released at his death. Eleanor spent her final years in Aquitaine playing matchmaker for her children and grandchildren. She had been wife to two kings, mother of two kings, and influenced art until the present day. She had traveled widely for her time. She was a model for feminine power and independence, and still is. Eleanor’s fighting spirit kept her busy and active until her death in 1204. She was eighty-two years old.

http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~nwa/aquit.html

God’s Chosen: The Jewish Character

2008-12-02T23:09:00.001-07:00

God’s Chosen: The Jewish Character

We live in a world that worships the new. How is it that such a world would still manage to contain adherents to ancient traditions and beliefs? Beliefs that label some foods as unclean, separate men and women, and declare one group as chosen by a very concerned, emotional god? Judaism has influenced law, history, the idea of family, and even other religions and theology for over five-thousand years. Amazingly, the flame shows no signs of dying out, particularly in the United States, where more Jews reside than anywhere else in the world (“Judaism”, MSN Encarta). This is due to the Jew’s strong sense of identity: as a religion, as a race, and as God’s chosen people.

Judaism, like the rest of Western Civilization, actually began in the Middle East. Abraham, the great patriarch of Judaism, was born in Ur of the Chaldees, or modern day Tall al Muqayyar, Iraq (“Ur”, MSN Encarta). Abraham (also known as Abram, or, in Muslim tradition, Ibrahim) eventually left Ur with his family and eventually made his way to modern-day Israel, where he lived as a nomad. He also spent time in Egypt (“Abraham”, MSN Encarta). According to the Bible, a god named YHWH (called Yahweh, or Latinized as Jehovah) promised to “give unto [Abraham], and to [his children], the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession;” and that through his descendants YHWH would “make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee” (Genesis 17:6-11). In return, Abraham and his children would worship YHWH, recognizing him as the one true god. As a sign of this promise, or covenant, all males who entered into it would be circumcised. This is arguably the single most important event in the development of the Jewish identity. All Jews are accepted as descendants of Abraham, and therefore have the privileges and responsibilities this dialogue implies. This shows the Jewish relationship with deity, a special, familial relationship others do not have.

Jews also believe that YHWH continued to reveal his will and laws to the leaders of the church, prophets. This adds to the special relationship they have with deity. In church services, two and one half of three hours consist of readings and prayers directly from the scriptures, particularly the Torah, or Revealed Instruction. Whilst reading from the scrolls, the spiritual leader or rabbi covers his head with a prayer shawl. The scrolls are wrapped in beautiful blue cloth, and worshippers touch the Torah as the rabbi brings it around. They also kiss their personal copies of Torah before replacing them on the shelf. These scriptures and rabbinical writings are the precious relics of Judaism. Nevertheless, is it hard for Jews to live with 500 centuries of laws in a culture that emphasizes a large dose of rebellion? As one young orthodox Jew told me, it can be. Jeff Richens says particularly in adolescence, it was hard for him to “keep kosher”, or follow the dietary guidelines found throughout Mosaic Law (Richens). “Everyone is searching for themselves, for individuality. You kind of just want to do whatever the hell you want.” Once again, the identity as the chosen people helped him stay true. “I just tell myself this is what I’m supposed to do. I hold myself to a higher standard.”

This blend of piety and confidence differentiates the Jewish character. At the church service I attended, the rabbi seemed to be training his son. This boy, only nine or ten years old, was heard praying with fervor. He was enthusiastic, something rare in generally apathetic or nervous pre-teens. He was not garish or inappropriate either. Richens assures that Jews are not superior to other people, but have entered into a covenant and therefore have an “incentive” to be better people.

This leads to a question in the history of Judaism-if Jews are the chosen people of God, why have they suffered so much persecution and hate, even to the point of genocide? Richens says succinctly, “Jews are treated like shit.” He cites current examples in pop culture. However, perhaps because Yahweh has agreed to pay special concern to the Jews, he tests them more, like an exacting professor. Richens seems to think this is the case. It is simply part of the higher standard believers hold themselves to.

One struggle the Judaists have had is the struggle for a geographic place of reckoning. Because the Jews are also the race descended from Abraham, it is possible to be a Jewish Christian or a Japanese Jew. Zionism is a philosophy held by those who believe that Jews and Hebrews should reclaim Israel/Palestine as their national homeland. The Jewish languages of Hebrew and Yiddish would be spoken, and even Jews who do not practice Judaism would be able to have a living heritage. In fact, it was (and is) mostly “secularized” Jews who advocate Zionism. At the synagogue I attended, a special prayer was said for Israel, including an invocation to stop those who fight against her. While Genesis seems to explicitly state that Yahweh intends for the Abram’s seed to have Israel, who that is and under what circumstances are hotly debated. Muslims also claim to be the children of Abraham (though through a different line), Jesus Christ was a Jew, and Christians could reasonably lay religious claim to it as well. One could also ask whether if Yahweh meant only one particular line of Abraham’s descendants, or even if he meant for these groups to be the only groups in the area.. Of course then we would have to decide whether to speak the Hebrew of the Torah, Arabic of the Koran, or Greek of the New Testament. As overwhelming as this is for an objective gentile to figure out, it is easy to see why Jews would have such strong feelings and confusion. Many Jews sit on both sides of the fence. Richens, for one, seems to think there are more important things to worry about. He compares the groups to kids who find it “hard to share”.

These struggles will, however, eventually be ended with the coming of a Savior. Some even believe that by being faithful and righteous enough, they can bring this salvation sooner. This gives the disciple of Judaism an even greater diligence and motivation in worship. It is with this hope that Jews can weather their many struggles and stay so strong.

In studying the Jewish religion and its struggles, when set against the sweetness of its people, one is easily able to see why they need a Messiah. A belief system that embraces piety and confidence, community and individuality, faith and education, hope and long suffering, Judaism’s doctrine and people impressed me greatly. In the Jewish character, we find one so great, who has suffered so much. If Jewish thought and creativity had not been suppressed, as it so often has throughout history, who knows what new developments we would have had. Perhaps when their Messiah comes, they will receive their vindication.

"Judaism”, Microsoft® Encarta® Online Encyclopedia 2008
http://encarta.msn.com © 1997-2008 Microsoft Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

"Ur”, Microsoft® Encarta® Online Encyclopedia 2008
http://encarta.msn.com © 1997-2008 Microsoft Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

"Abraham”, Microsoft® Encarta® Online Encyclopedia 2008
http://encarta.msn.com © 1997-2008 Microsoft Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

Holy Bible: King James Version. Pennsylvania: The National Bible Press, 1958.

Richens, Jeffrey. Personal interview. 11 Nov. 2008.

Where I Am In Hell

2008-11-26T12:22:00.000-07:00

Purgatory

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

I Love Victoria's Secret

2008-11-22T20:14:00.003-07:00

I love Victoria's Secret. I love that everything is pretty and feminine. But most of all I love the hair and make-up. Somehow, some day, I will have lingerie model hair every day.
Here's the video that will tell me how.

Discover Your Passions

2008-11-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

CREATIVE

You have a gift for expression. Whether it's writing, drawing, creating objets d'art or making music, you see the world in a unique way and are able to convey that to other people. No doubt you doodle on napkins and meeting notes, are always humming a new tune, have already read the latest fiction releases, and know all the local art galleries' schedules by heart. You might like hobbies like sketching, photography, sculpting, playing an instrument, singing, journaling, scrap-booking or designing clothing.

Take the Quiz!

Political Spin-Just In Time For The Election

2008-11-02T00:00:00.000-06:00

Unknown author. (28 May 2008) The Onion. “Obama Practices Looking-Off-Into-Future Pose.” Retrieved 2 July 2008 from http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obama_practices_looking_off_into

This website is a mock news source that provides heavy political satire. This article claims that even Barack Obama’s facial expressions are painstakingly calculated to gain votes. While this is doubtful, the article does bring up questions of political identity as well as gently mocking the intense scrutiny candidates are subject to. I would cite this article in an essay analyzing how spin and commentary affect the election, specifically the credibility of the candidates.

Martin, Roland S. (25 June 2008) CNN. “Commentary: Obama helps himself and McCain, too.” Retrieved 2 July 2008 from http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/25/roland.martin/index.html

This is the website of the news network CNN. CNN claims to be America’s most trusted new source, and many of its reporters and writers are highly respected. In this commentary, Roland S. Martin speaks of how Obama’s decision to opt out of public financing helps McCain, yet will likely also help Obama’s campaign in the long run. I would use this article to examine how the candidates spin each others decisions versus the validity of the decision itself.

Newton-Small, Jay. (2 July 2008) Time. “Is McCain's War Record Sacrosanct?” Retrieved 2 July 2008 from http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1819719,00.html

This is the website of Time Magazine, which is a widely read news magazine. This article discusses the validity of attacking McCain’s war record as well as the validity of assuming such a record will make him a better president. I would use this article to discuss how the media is also subject to political manipulation, as well as contrast it with the satirical article on Obama to discuss where the line between respectful criticism and disrespectful mocking is in this, or any, election. Is nothing or everything sacrosanct? How do we know?

Visual Rhetorical Analysis

2008-10-29T00:09:00.000-06:00

The website for Wells Fargo Bank (http://www.wellsfargo.com) appeals to current and potential customers-upper middle class families. It is a standard hypertext structure that makes it easy to find what one is looking for, as one can access information from many different points on the page.

The site has a lot of text, mostly about the services the bank offers, under various headings such as Banking, Loans, and Investing. There is also some drop-down menus and textual ads that have icons next to them. There is a separate section for those who already have accounts, with logos around the text, and a banner ad for the bank sits at the top of the page.

The website uses images of prosperity to create the feeling that they are a sound financial institution. The banner ad shows an upper middle class father and daughter. The daughter, probably about six, is relaxing on a white couch. She even appears to be coloring on some paper. My first thought is that the father must have a enough money to clean that couch often if he let’s his six-year-old draw on it. The father is working on finances, as implied by the text, but he seems relaxed-he’s barefoot. His clothes are “business casual” and his laptop is very shiny. There is also a photographed image that is a relatively elaborate representation of the banks usual carriage outline logo. The carriage is shiny red and yellow-it certainly has not come cross country, despite its appearance in a barren stretch of desert-and is being drawn by six horses. This once again represents prosperity, and it also alludes to the old romantic history of the West as a land of gold. It also lends some historical heft to the company. They are saying “We’ve been around forever. You can trust us.”

The web page uses visual design principles well. The topics are well organized; one can easily find what one is looking for. The organization is consistent; there are no random words or images. The images are clean, non-distracting, and minimal. However there are enough images that the site does not seem sterile or unapproachable. A frequent user of the site appreciates the division of topics. Advertisements and general information are grouped together for those who may be thinking about opening an account, while those who already have one are able to bypass the already known information to access their accounts. Someone who does not have an account yet does not immediately feel excluded from using the site.

This is very important as one may have occasion to visit this site whether they have accounts with Wells Fargo or not. One may use it to check the status of an account, open an account, or check average interest rates for such things as mortgages.

The site manages to accomplish its purpose; that is, it both informs potential users of available products and makes it easy for current customers who may visit it.

Book Review!

2008-10-19T00:00:00.000-06:00

Art of Darkness: Street Acting by Undercover Operators, Con Men, and Others by Sara K Schneider

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
I was lucky enough to receive this book as an early reviewer, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It is dramatically entertaining, but also raises questions about the nature of identity-can it really be separate from what we say and do? It also has whetted my appetite for biography, particularly of the master con artists and undercover workers Schneider quotes throughout the book.

View all my reviews.

Toby

2008-10-12T13:56:00.000-06:00

It is five-thirty in the morning and I am watching my dog, Toby, try to stay awake. He will not be successful. The only reason he is awake is out of loyalty to me. It is the same reason he was struggling to stay awake at twelve-thirty this morning. No matter how quiet I try to be or no matter how many times I tell him to go to bed, Toby keeps the same odd hours I do.

Toby is an elderly pug I received from my brother. Stephen lived with me for a while last summer and when he moved out, Toby stayed. The Pug Dog Club of America gives the following information about pugs:

The Pug is of Chinese origin and dates back to the pre-Christian era. They were prized possessions of the Emperors of China and lived in a most luxurious atmosphere and at times were even guarded by soldiers. Records show that three types of short nosed dogs were bred by the Chinese. They were the Lion dog, the Pekingese and the Lo-sze. The Lo-sze or “Foo Dog” was the ancient Pug.

Toby seems to have inherited his ancestors’ taste for luxury. While a playful enough puppy, his favorite activities include luxuriating on pillows and sunbathing. Two floor pillows and one bean bag chair have been taken for the cause, and it is nearly impossible to get to come inside during the summer. Toby, unlike some who may descendents of royal dogs, does not demand to be the center of attention. He is fine being a little left of center. For example, he is fine with me writing this paper because I reach down to pet him occasionally. He doesn’t need constant attention. However, when I become a little too focused on my Spanish homework, he will decide to take a nap on the textbook and papers. He also refuses to sleep without his plush dog that squeaks. She is jokingly named Girlfriend. When forced to sleep without her, he will whine and cry until she is with him.

A Pug’s character is unique in that he is a clown at heart with a terrific sense of humor but at the same time he carries himself with great dignity. They are not too delicate for fun and games. A pug is anxious to please, anxious to learn and anxious to love. His biggest requirement is that you love him back.

The preceding description by The Pug Dog Club of America is very apt. While Toby, who is solid black except for a white patch on his chest and white toes, seems to think of himself as a rather distinguished older gentleman, he will sometimes show the enthusiasm of a puppy. Toby’s eyebrows, eyelashes, and chin are turning white and he is nearly eleven, yet if one asks him where Girlfriend is, he will disappear and return in a flash with the toy. He especially enjoys playing with her after dinner, when he will growl at her, shake her around, and then settle into a long session of licking her face off.

As Toby has gotten older, he has become more possessive of “his” things. He fancies himself quite the guard dog. Despite his age, lack of any respectable teeth to speak of, and general tininess, he will chase golden retrievers off of the property. He is quite pleased with himself afterwards, kicking the grass fiercely with his back legs. (He also does this whenever he finds ground loose enough to make dust clouds.) He does bark at strangers and seems suspicious of males in particular. However, once he has determined someone as a friend he will sound a series of whines and barks as if engaging in conversation. He will then be quite offended if they don’t offer him a belly-rub or back massage. He is also quite possessive of me, and becomes jealous of my little nephews.

Many pugs have problems with jealousy and separation anxiety. Toby is no exception and I believe these problems may have been exacerbated by my brother’s divorce. As far as Toby knows my brother’s ex-wife and “his” human disappeared one day and was never heard from again. (Actually this is alarmingly close to the truth, but I digress.) Toby becomes jealous of other dogs and toddlers (not infants for some reason) and is anxious to see me when I come home. He also waits outside the bathroom door when I shower.

The funny thing about Toby is that his likes and dislikes are just as strong as any person’s. He prefers my mother’s bed to nap on, my father’s chair to sit on, and no toy is nearly as beloved as Girlfriend. And then there’s his favorite sleeping position: paws near my shoulders, chin on my forehead. When he can get me to sleep, that is.

Quotes from Pug Dog Club of America

http://www.pugs.org

Obtained on June 11, 2008

Hmmm....

2008-10-04T18:33:00.001-06:00

Khrystine took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Wants to make a favorable impression and be reward..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

My brother Stephen showed me this. It's accurate I think. It's stuff I don't want to admit...

A Commentary (Written In June)

2008-10-02T20:32:00.001-06:00

It has become essentially irrefutable that the United States government, including the president, has authorized the use of torture. It has also become clear that the government tried to keep this secret. According to Joseph Galloway, four years ago the Pentagon told Major General Anthony Taguba to investigate inhumane treatment of detainees. However, he was not allowed to investigate any military or civilian official who outranked him. Yet Taguba has since said, “The commander in chief and those under him authorized a systematic regime of torture.” President Bush, as quoted by Major David J.R. Frakt, has said that the Geneva Conventions do not apply this time-that these detainees “are not legally entitled to such treatment”, that these methods are part of “military necessity” and will save lives. Perhaps one could believe this, if it were not for the innocent people, including a suicidal teenager, who have been tortured. In the case of said teenager, no interrogation ever took place. This goes against the Constitution-i.e. what constitutes-the United States. Not only is it hypocritical to set aside the Constitution when at war, it is completely irrational. The only part of the president’s job description that is not in the Constitution is to uphold the Constitution. Otherwise, the president could simply invade a country, throw out the Constitution, dissolve Congress, and declare himself dictator for life; making and breaking his own arbitrary laws. Our government should believe in its Constitution enough to set the same standards of liberty for all humanity, not just those “legally entitled”. If they throw it out for those abroad, they will surely throw it out at home. Without basic rights such as presumed innocence and habeas corpus, don’t be surprised if criminals aren’t the only ones who suffer. Under the misleading name “enhanced interrogation”, don’t be surprised if it becomes standard police procedure. We should think about that before we decide that it doesn’t affect us.

Thursdays Rock

2008-09-26T00:37:00.004-06:00

I love TV.
I know TV is supposed to be guilty pleasure if one admits liking it all, but guess what I do.
Especially the CW Thursday night. My friends tease me (good-naturedly I hope) about how much I love the shows Supernatural and Smallville. Well now I m going to explain why I love Supernatural, especially the current season, which started last week.

1. Jensen Ackles is really hot. See the above picture. (I don't know who took this, but I assure them I respect their copyright.You know, as if their reading this.) -Sigh.- But more than that, his character Dean Winchester is a bad boy, but he's bad because he has to be to do what's right. So he's a righteous bad boy. This is my favorite kind of boy. This is the boy who answers to a higher ideal than other people. So I am very in love with his character, as opposed to just lust, which describe my feelings for the actor. So there's my superficial, junior-high groupie reason for loving this show.
2. I, strange as this may sound, relate to various aspects of the show. Philosophically. I first watched it thinking hey, this is sort of like the priesthood. That might sound weak, but I pick up philosophical (?) patterns in the world like that guy in A Beautiful Mind picks up mathematical ones.
3. I especially love this season. I'm going to discuss in detail the first two episodes now, so cover your eyes if you don't want to know.
This season seems to be explicitly Christian. I find this cool for couple reasons, the first being that I'm Christian. If you don't know me maybe this seems kind of bigoted, or maybe it does even if you do know me. But I think it's good for me, as a Christian, to have a show like this that isn't really cheesy. And I relate far better to these guys doing the best they can and hoping they're not damning themselves along the way than someone who volunteers and then gets the warm fuzzies from it.
So this season Dean got pulled out of Hell by an angel, heretofore not realizing they existed. (But if you have demons it only makes sense that you have angels.) This angel then tells Dean that he needs to work for God to fight Lucifer. I of course imagined they were doing this all along, but that these two beings exist also blows Dean's mind. Then, if the mention of angels and Lucifer hadn't convinced you, the angel and Bobby (another demon hunter) mention specific things from Revelations. So here's another reason I think this is cool-it's bold to be so explicitly Christian, especially on a show like this, prime time, on the most coveted night of the TV week.
I mean this is not Sunday afternoon nor friendly non-denominational angels whose only real religious standpoint is God loves you (cough, Touched By An Angel, cough). While it seems weird to describe an angel in these terms, even a fictional one, Supernatural's angel kicks ass. There is just no other accurate term. When we meet him for the first time he walks right into a knife and keeps on going. It's pretty cool. I mean he's sent from God right? So a knife wouldn't freak him out. But he's also compassionate, asking Dean why he doesn't think he deserves to be saved. It's awesome. It's not dumbed down, and it's definitely not a kids show. It's not what I would immediately call uplifting, but it kind of does make me want to be a beacon of truth, fight bad guys like Satan and Oppression and Really Stupid Governments. (You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.)
My religion doesn't completely agree with every idea on the show (though it doesn't explicitly disagree with much either). But one of my humanities professors is always talking about how much the US misses out on not having many basic heroic stories anymore, which is why if we even get a scent of one we milk it for all it's worth. (I think this is probably why we make so many super hero movies.) So most of all I'm excited to have a hero I can relate to-a righteous rebel fighting the bad guys in his own special way.

Family Ghosts

2008-09-20T13:17:00.001-06:00

There was a man named Samuel Swift Merritt. Samuel was said to have powers. Nothing extreme, just party tricks, your run of the mill telekinesis. He could make “spoons dance and tables jump” (Kelsey, 2008). Samuel eventually left his family and joined a controversial new religion called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He forsook his abilities and came west. But Something followed him. One morning at a camp by the Snake River he arose stricken, pale, and looking many years older. Accounts say he looked as if he had seen death. It was beyond a bad night’s sleep. Indeed, his descendents say he was wrestling with evil spirits.

Samuel Merritt is my ancestor, and as far as my family can tell, the first person in our line to experience weird hauntings, strange abilities, and unexplained knowledge of some things. If hearing this, one wonders how this is possible; if maybe we’re just crazy; making it up, imagine being the one on the receiving end of this otherworldly birthright. In an attempt to understand myself, I will examine several stories in my family history and their individual significance. These stories have all been told by my mother, who received them orally from other members of my family.

The theory is that due to Samuel’s strong energetic power and many heirs that would seem to inherit this, evil spirits attempted to woo him away from being a religious man. At the least he would not receive all the salvation he could, at the most he might lend something to the cause of evil. It is also speculated that spirits lent some excess energy to Samuel, that being the reason he could perform his tricks. Herein lies the first rule of being whatever it is we are-just because you are able to do something doesn’t mean you should. One example is the last time I got my Tarot cards read. I know nothing about Tarot cards, but as my friend Jeff was doing them for some people and I was a little curious and a lot hyper, I agreed to have them read.

“Focus on a question,” Jeff instructed. I thought of a question-it was all too vague really, a general “what does my future look like” query. I don’t even remember the specific question though I remember the general idea. I put all the excess energy I had (which was a lot) into that question. Jeff turned over the cards. Love, pain, battle, victory. He told me the meanings skeptically.

“Maybe it didn’t work,” he frowned.

“Why do you think that?” I asked. I had other ideas.

“It’s just a weird reading. These two,” he covered the cards for love and battle, “are supposed to correlate and these two,” covering pain and victory, “go together, but they’re opposites. Did you actually ask a question?” I knew exactly why those cards were together, why they were in that sequence. It was confirming all the dreams (and nightmares) I had had my whole life, the almost memories that didn’t make sense. “Maybe love will sustain you through a battle, and then you’ll think you’ll lose or it’ll cause you pain but you’ll be victorious, or…” he trailed off. He was wondering if I was going to die for something, I think. I didn’t confirm or assuage his fears, I was thinking about a dream I had when I was ten. I was suddenly exhausted

“Do you think it works?” He nodded. “How?”

“I think you put your own energy into it. If you’re tired your readings aren’t as good.” I nodded. That was true I realized. No spirit was whispering in my ear what to ask. As far as I knew, Jeff was not a shaman. It certainly was not a religious experience. But I had spent a lot of energy, and while Jeff was not a shaman I might be something close.

I will never get my cards read again. I don’t want to abuse any power I might have, and I certainly don’t need spirits coming to play with me any more than they try to now. Just because you are able to do something doesn’t mean you should.

Samuel’s daughter Elizabeth married Caleb Bleazard and they had children. One of these children was my mother’s great-aunt Lydia. Lydia had discovered a popular parlor game called Ouija. The premise was you ask the game a question and using a magnifying glass like object you would mysteriously spell out the answer. The times I have actually heard people talk about this game, no one has bothered to explain why it works, or even more interestingly why there are some occasions it doesn’t work. Caleb, who likely had enough sensitivity to recognize danger when he saw it, forbade the use of it. In fact he demanded it be thrown out. Lydia didn’t listen, but hid it from him. After Caleb died, it became a regular fixture in the Bleazard household with Elizabeth and especially Lydia consulting it often. Lydia wouldn’t travel without it. It seems like a joke, this spinster living with her mother and addicted to a board game, but this was the case. Whatever one thinks about the Ouija, one must agree Lydia’s fascination with it was unhealthy. But, like all these stories, there is a deeper, weirder element and a lesson therein. Lydia’s cousin Hazel, my grandmother, was a fairly new bride (maybe five years into her marriage), who nonetheless already had half the children she would ever have. Lydia thought it would still be fun to ask Ouija how many children Hazel was to have. After all, the divination of the number and sex of future children is a common practice. (Brunvand, page 8) The Ouija responded 3 boys. Hazel had already had two girls and in fact would only ever have one boy. Hazel thought to herself that this was unlikely and somewhat stupid. Then the Ouija began to spell out the words “You’ll be sorry for that.” Seeing as Hazel had not actually said anything, this disturbed her a bit. Another interesting story is that the Ouija would not work in the presence of my grandfather Robert, who himself had had some experience in performing exorcisms and held the LDS priesthood. The infamous Ouija was destroyed in a house fire when Elizabeth’s own personal haunted mansion fell into disrepair. From an early age then, we were taught not to play with things we don’t understand.

I had managed to avoid such things as the Ouija until I was thirteen, when of course it made an appearance at a friend’s party. It was a present for the hostess given to her by one of her friends who honestly seemed a bit creepy to me, though I was much more judgmental then. The hostess herself was only mildly intrigued, but the giver had a hungry glint in her eye and demanded we try it immediately. I flat out refused, as did my best friend whose father had warned her of such things. This surprised the hostess and annoyed the gift giver.

“Why not?” Natalie, the hostess, asked.

“Sometimes it works-my question is how?” I replied.

“It might not,” said Margaret, the giver, who was obviously hoping it would.

“That thing can’t be good,” my friend Courtney stated emphatically.

“It’s a game-how dangerous could it be?” I raised an eyebrow, and Natalie admitted that she was sounding dangerously like she was offering us drugs. We offered to leave. The question was dropped, or so I thought, yet while Courtney and I were enjoying our mocktails, Margaret entered looking dark and dejected.

“You can relax,” she said. “It doesn’t work.” We looked at each other, annoyed. Yet I have since wondered if our combined resistance, topped with our lack of any real power in the situation with us being only thirteen, managed to protect the party from otherworldly influences of a negative type. Interestingly, there was a brief time that I suspected Natalie and I were on opposite sides of the moral fence. Her lack of respect for my knowledge may have influenced me. The giddy, nervous, experiments with witchcraft that some teenagers go through were always avoided by me. Now that I’m older, some associates try to do the same thing with drugs. One shouldn’t play with things one doesn’t understand. I also learned from this experience that I have more power than spirits do-my grandfather Robert is an example of this as well.

These things have incredible individual significance, and this shapes my social interactions and responses to everything. It is an undeniable part of who I am, and the only veracity I can offer is that I wouldn’t choose to be this if I could imagine any other possibility. Sometimes, when I am able to warn a friend I realize why I know things before they happen, why I see things that I shouldn’t, why I have a deeper understanding of so many things and I am grateful. Other times, when I have dreamt of spirits all night, when they put nightmares in my head, when I arrive at school looking like I’m hung-over when in reality I’ve been casting out demons in my dreams all night, I hate it. And of course there’s the telling people, when I do. Isn’t it so unbelievable? Why would it exist? Why should it be my family? Is it all Samuel’s fault?

A friend called the other day. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. Same old, same old.” As one friend put it, nothing, because “what else can I say to you?” (Anonymous Source, 2008.)

I don’t tell people because they can’t always know it’s true. If it’s just me telling a story, what someone else said, if they play with the idea it’s truer than if I swear it happened, if I write a personal statement. For my own sanity, at least as preserved in the minds of other people, when they ask me what’s wrong I’ll continue to say “It was nothing.” They can think what they want; while I know it’s like my mother Rosalie said in one account-“There was Nothing there. But you know what? There was something there.”

Works Cited

Kelsey, Rosalie. Personal Interview. 28, July 2008.

Brunvand, Jan Harold. The Study of American Folklore. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 1998.

Anonymous. Personal Interview. 25 July 2008.

2 Poems

2008-09-13T22:22:00.001-06:00

Part A

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."
— Ernest Hemingway

In “His Father, Singing” by Leslie Norris, the speaker describes the tone in which and reasons that his/her father sang. The father does not sing happily or contentedly, but achingly and in anguish. The speaker tells of one specific incident in which the father comforts his son by singing to him. As his singing breaks into “pain and anger”, the speaker takes notice. So much important art is born out of pain, anxiety, and social unrest. It is these wounds we most want to explore. We want to see if they look like our own. I think there is a secret vulnerable part of all of us. Our quest for intimacy and the popularity of sad stories is our desperate need to show someone. The father in this poem, while usually singing quietly in the garden, reaches a point where for whatever reason he shows his wounds. Perhaps he relates to the child crying, perhaps he knows that the baby will not remember or repeat his song, perhaps he just can’t hold it in anymore. Either way, the speaker hears it and instinctively knows that “someone should be listening.”

Hemingway’s quote is apt-all good poetry, even the happy kind, seem to come straight from the writer’s heart, body and soul, to be their blood. A good poem pumps through are veins, drives our movement, becomes a vital part of us. Even the most ecstatic poetry should wrench one’s heart. The best poetry, like the father’s song, does not just tug on the heartstrings; it jerks them out of place. And someone should be listening.

Part B

Voice is everything in Jane Kenyon’s “Briefly It Enters, And Briefly Speaks”. In fact, rather than saying it has a speaker, I would almost just say it is a voice-after all, it seems to be an abstract idea that is speaking. The voice is intimate, particularly in the last stanza. It is first person, which always makes the reader feel as if the speaker is talking to him/her specifically. This contrasts with the actual diction of the poem; words which are speaking of a kind of universality between humanity.

It is the contrast between this intimate voice and wide range of subjects that create the magic of the poem. This is done most effectively by using first person. If the one line second stanza was changed to “It is the maker, the lover, and the keeper. . . .” the intimate connection with humanity is lost and it remains simply an ideal. By presenting the speaker as It (humanity, hope, love), the reader really believes that there is that connection, that It exists.

The imagery in the stanza that reads “I am the heart contracted by joy. . .the longest hair, white before the rest. . . .” is compelling, again for it’s contrast. A heart contracting is a very dynamic, violent image. A hair that is white before the rest simply is, and there are no other verbs in the phrase. White is purity, white hair is age, and it paints a very serene picture. With the contrast between these two images, we know that the voice resides in the youthful ecstasy of joy and the serene peacefulness of age.

Poetry Essay

2008-09-08T14:49:00.000-06:00

The poem “So Much Happiness” by Naomi Shihab Nye is, as the name implies, a meditation on happiness. The speaker begins by contrasting happiness with sadness. When one is happy, one does not really know what to do. Nye compares sadness to a wound, something that can be dealt with and treated. We may have souvenirs from sadness, much like we would have a scar from a wound.

Happiness, on the other hand, cannot be held. Any souvenirs do not begin to touch the actual emotion involved because happiness “doesn’t need anything.” The only thing it leaves one with is a different perspective. With happiness we “wake up with possibilities”. Sadness may make us look to the past, but happiness makes us look to the future. For example, compare being in a relationship and being happy with it to being in a once happy but now unhappy relationship. In the former, one may be filled with hopes of dates, stolen kisses, plans to travel, to marry etc. All of these are hopes for the future, whether distant or near. If the relationship has turned sour however, even the sweetest memory of the lover is made bittersweet.

Happiness is transient; it “goes away when it wants to”. Upon reading this, one might wonder if Nye is saying happiness is hopeless. While Nye speaks of the initial cause for joy being temporal, she leaves us with the feeling that the new perspective gained is not. Even moving from a paradisiacal tree house to a quarry “cannot make you unhappy”. We are still left with the idea that “everything has a life of its own”.

Nye concludes by saying that happiness is too large to be held inside. Instead happiness radiates into everything that surrounds the happy person. We cannot take credit for this beneficence, just “as the sky takes no credit for the moon,” we simply hold it and let it radiate from us. Through this simile we are able to see happiness as a glowing orb that lights our way, once again into the future.

This last stanza can be compared to the first which speaks of holding sadness in one’s hands. This is an interesting progression: first the speaker talks of sadness as something one holds, then she says that happiness doesn’t need one to hold it, and finally she admits that one holds it the same way the sky holds the moon. This last claim implies that sadness does need to be held to exist. This comparison is the key to understanding the true result of Nye’s meditation. Happiness happens, while sadness is something we must take responsibility for. If we let go of sadness, instead of radiating, it will simply cease to exist. By showcasing our happiness, we not only have a better chance of gaining perspective, but shine a light for everyone as well.

The following is a poem with the same basic theme that I wrote as response to Nye’s poem.

I am banishing you,

Small pitiful you,

Undeserving you,

Undeserving of any tears, time, or thought.

I made a mistake, but I won’t let you tell me that I am one.

I embrace You

Grand, shining You

Triumphant You,

Conquering the doubt, fear, chaos.

I embrace You lightly like light, knowing You will come back over and over again…

2008-09-02T17:45:00.000-06:00

I lost her to neon lights and ecstasy
I lost him to the narrow passages of his mind
I lost them to the Vista from which I had to recover
I lost her to The Other Side, where I was always scared she was going
I lost him to smoke and holy water
I lost them to the land of peachtrees
I lost her to the real world
I'm losing him to the streets and I might break
I lost Them and I never hope to find them
I keep losing pieces of my soul,
Or at least you all have torn at them
Maybe you will stretch it far enough
To
Save
You

Mythological Analysis-A Paper That Was Too Short

2008-08-25T09:21:00.000-06:00

“Barn Burning” by William Faulkner is the story of young Sarty’s conflict with his father Abner. Abner is a man who will not change his course for anything (including manure) and is a temperamental arsonist.

This story makes me think of a reversed story of Helios, whose son’s pride and recklessness scald the earth as well as kill him. Helios allows his son to drive the sun chariot against his better judgment and many lives are destroyed. Sarty also goes against his better judgment to testify against his father out of familial loyalty. His often reckless father commits arson when ever his pride is hurt. Sarty, like Helios ends up lamenting yet frustrated at his relative’s actions. Prometheus also stole fire (power) from the gods and gave it to man. Destruction is a power Abner has that brings him closer to the rich DeSpains-everyone is vulnerable to fire, and through its use Abner feels invincible.

This story also has an archetypal father vs. son power struggle. We can see this in stories of how Zeus overcame his father, the story of Oedipus, etc. Sarty is indirectly responsible for his father and brother’s deaths. With this he becomes the patriarch in the family, but also to some extent, its destroyer. When Sarty is called on to testify against his father and Abner later beats him for supposedly considering it, it shows the first severing of the father-son relationship.

In these scenes, Sarty is a helpless boy, by the time he runs away from home he is a power in his own right. Sarty’s familial duty gradually fades away as Sarty is unable to empathize with Abner. Sarty tells Abner he understands his anger, which Abner takes as implicit approval of arson. At this point Sarty realizes he must take over in order to survive and protect his family, much as many mythic sons kill their fathers in self-defense or as vengeance.

Faulkner and Fathers

2008-08-18T16:26:00.000-06:00

In William Faulkner’s stories “A Rose for Emily” and “Barn Burning” (Faulkner), the protagonists both must deal with overbearing fathers. Emily’s father refuses to let her have boyfriends, and Sarty’s father Abner is an arsonist. We see how these authority figures dominate their lives indirectly, in “Emily”, and directly, in “Barn”. Faulkner creates a world in where no one is innocent, the need for control can be dangerous, and a break with authority can be necessary yet tragic.

Neither Emily nor Sarty are truly innocent, which traps them within an assumed innocence.

Emily is never allowed to experience romance until her father is dead, which makes her innocent of normal male-female relationships, but sadly experienced in a dominating, suppressive one. Her only other relationship is with her serving-man. It is very possible Emily views all men only as potential slave masters or slaves. There is no innocent first love, only a twisted one-sided relationship.

Sarty has also experienced hardship, due to his father’s pyrotechnics. Sarty is very aware of society’s laws and reactions to his father’s crimes. He has seen the destructive power of fire and his father shows this same destructiveness when he beats Sarty. Sarty tries to relate to his father, but cannot due to his experience of what arson really does.

In both stories, to be innocent is to be ignorant.

The townspeople are innocent enough to dismiss the smell at Emily’s as bad cooking or hygiene, and therefore miss the glaring evidence of murder. The pharmacist, while not completely naïve, does not have enough persuasiveness to stop Emily from buying arsenic because he has no experience with the situation.

Sarty’s siblings seem innocently ignorant as well. While we find it hard to believe they could be anymore innocent than Sarty, especially the accomplice older brother, they do not to seem to have the same grasp of their father’s actions. The sisters are lazy and unintelligent, and the brother follows Abner blindly.

In both stories, the need for control is dangerous and destructive.

Emily’s father controls her, and this leads to her wanting control over her lover, Homer Barron. Her desire is so strong she kills him, keeps his corpse and never leaves her house. Her home has become her own world in which she can control everything, even her lover. He will never tell her he’s not in the mood, that he doesn’t like the curtains, or that she shouldn’t go out tonight. More important for Emily, he will never leave her, at least physically or by his own volition. He can forever remain the ideal-no need to discover he’s a philanderer or an addict.

Abner exercises control over his family and over the element fire. Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to humanity, as a way to bridge the gap between them. This is basically how Abner utilizes fire. No barn is fire proof, no matter how much money or pedigree has gone into it. His employers may abuse him all they want, all men

are equal in the face of fire-and all are subservient to the one who controls it. Fire also represents rage, as both can be destructive and lose control in an instant.

Faulkner shows the sometimes tragic necessity of breaking with authority.

When Sarty finally betrays his father’s actions openly, it is at least partly in the interest of his family. They cannot keep travelling an losing jobs. They cannot constantly be put in the position of being made to commit perjury or take responsibility for actions that aren’t theirs. Sarty cannot continually be physically and mentally abused. The struggle of family vs. ethics/law/etc. is unsustainable, particularly for a child. Yet when Sarty hears gunshots, he knows it is likely that his father and brother are dead. Sarty will then have to reconcile the feelings of responsibility he may have.

In contrast, Emily never breaks with authority until she breaks what is the most crucial law-murder. Perhaps it is inevitable that those who feel oppressed will revolt, and perhaps it would have been better for everyone if Emily had done so earlier in her life. “Barn Burning” shows this necessity much more explicitly than “A Rose for Emily” does. We don’t actually know to what extent her father controlled her; it may have been very slight. It may have been incredibly abusive. We don’t know if it directly influenced her murderous ways, but one can reasonably assume so. One cannot act according to another’s desires forever. These stories show us the same thing experience has-the longer an emotion stays under wraps, the hotter it will grow, and the more combustible the release will be.

It may have been better for Sarty to turn in his father in the beginning as well. If Abner went to prison, it would have saved two lives. Perhaps what Faulkner is trying to say is that we should not subject anyone-ourselves or others-to someone’s own desires. Faulkner mentioned that the human heart was oftentimes in conflict with itself (Robbins)-add someone else’s heart and life in nearly unsustainable.

“Works Cited”

Faulkner, William. Selected Short Stories of William Faulkner. New York: Random House Inc., 1962.

"Edit Submission: Short Story Essay- Major Paper ." SLCC Virtual Campus. nd. 27 June 2008.

The Personal Life Philosophy of Khrystine Kelsey

2008-08-11T14:58:00.000-06:00

In a speech given at West Point Military Academy, author Ayn Rand espouses the reasons one must adopt a life philosophy. The components of philosophy are the most basic questions, one must answer them in order to think, act or survive. According to Rand, the components of philosophy are metaphysics (who/what/where am I?), epistemology (how do I know?), and ethics (how should I behave?) with its subcategories of politics (how shall I behave in relation to others?) and aesthetics (what ideas, images, and inventions/creations will I support, utilize and enjoy?) Using this outline, I will attempt to explain my own life philosophy as clearly as possible.

Who, what and where am I? As a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I feel this question is best answered by the following statement from the Church’s library: “We are daughters [and sons] of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.” I adhere to the belief that I am a literal spiritual offspring of a God and Goddess and that it is my destiny, should I live up to it, to become a Goddess in my own right. I have been placed specifically on the earth at this time and in this situation to follow that destiny. We humans are “god[s] in embryo.”

How do I know? Assuming the main goals of existence are joy and self-actualization (to be examined later), how do we know our metaphysics and actions are correct? We generally experience and interpret the world through three ways; that is action, emotion, and rational thought. If we wish to reach correct conclusions, it is best we give all these interpreters due consideration.

Action is necessary to a long life and for most healthy humans, a happy one. We must take the action of eating in order to survive for example. Action is the center of our experience because it is both a result and a cause of our thoughts and emotions. We desire to kiss our boyfriend, we commit the action and enjoy it, and therefore we desire to do it again. Action without thought, however, is often harmful and stunts progress. (It is doubtful whether one can act without emotion as there is likely at least a desire to perform the act.) If one discovers fire, burns oneself, and out of fear never utilizes that power again, many developments may never be reached (such as light, warmth, cooked food). Truths one discovers through action are called self-evident.

Emotion is important to consider chiefly because it is undeniable. Everyone experiences emotion except possibly severely disordered people such as psychopaths. Emotion is what creates our desires, it seems directly connected to physicality (e.g. the body needs sustenance; this prompts the desire to eat.) With this in mind however, emotion is not purely the body (as is action) nor purely the mind (as is reason) but seems to mediate between them. For example without the emotions of love or compassion, when one feels the desire to eat one could simply steal another human’s food. Emotion seems to me the chief component in moral decisions. If something feels wrong, chances are it is and ones mind has not been able to explain it yet , nor ones body to know what action to take. It is emotion however that is most dependent on the other two faculties of knowledge. On an individual level, it is emotion that should be strongly examined. Emotion and action without reason may result in crimes of passion and further unhappiness, emotion and reason without action leads to non-productivity and, again, further unhappiness.

Reason is the champion of our age and rightly so. Most decisions that lead to happiness and productivity are largely founded on reason, and it continues to be the driving force in society. All conclusions should indeed make logical sense. If action is the way in which we progress and emotion our motivation for doing so, reason is the language we speak. It is the cornerstone of our actions as it is ultimately what decides if the action will result in further happiness. It finds the best way to express or satisfy our emotions. Many philosophers grant reason supremacy, as it is the clearest and most necessary way of dealing with each other. Like action and emotion however, it is also dependent on the other members of the experience trinity. As Aristotle’s syllogism demonstrates, reason can quickly lose credence if founded on false or faulty premises. For example, take the faulty premise that all women like to cook. While cooking may be an activity with many merits most rational beings can appreciate, it is very risky to say that all women enjoy doing so. If we take this premise as true and add the self evident premise that Monique is a woman, we can conclude that Monique likes to cook. But what evil will be wrought when we force Monique to spend time cooking, when she does not derive pleasure from it! That may sound extreme until we consider the following.

The Aryan race is innately supreme to all other races. Science declares this as false, the DNA of one race is not any stronger or weaker than another. But let us take this false premise and play with it. Adolph is of the Aryan race, Elie is not. Therefore Adolph is innately superior to Elie. This follows the logic, does it not? Yet our emotional center is becoming queasy. Adolph, on this false premise executes Elie and six-million or so other non-Aryans. This is the perfect example of why we must employ reason and listen to our emotions and body. An SS officer beats a Jewish woman; he throws up afterwards and feels an unknown guilt. His body, his feelings show him something is wrong, if he only he would use his reason to check his premises…

Aristotle aims to prevent this by having all logic stem from definition. E.g. All animals are living things of such a type that are endowed with traits which allow them to flourish. Human is an animal. Human possess traits of reason, emotion, and ability to act. Human endowed with reason, emotion and ability will flourish. This brings us to the next question.

How should I behave? So we now have a basic compass to guide our behavior. Is the action possible? Does it “feel right”? Does it make sense? Now we check that we are not rationalizing. Is it truly impossible, or is it that I don’t desire it? Do I really feel good about the decision or is it just easier? Does this course really make sense or am I avoiding certain facts? All these questions of course tie directly back in to metaphysics. Who are we? Where are we? Even wearing a sweater doesn’t pass this test if we’re somewhere hot and humid in July. It also begs the better question, what is the purpose?

If we are on Earth training to be Gods and Goddesses, what other purposes does that imply? If we are going to be omnipotent, omniscient beings, we have the purpose to learn. In the Old Testament God says “I AM THAT I AM” to Moses. If we too are to be Gods and Goddesses, we must know ourselves completely, be our best potential most perfect selves. In my religion we also believe that “Men are, that they might have joy.” We can add from this three other things to consider. Will this action increase my knowledge? Will it ultimately bring me joy? Is it worthy of me, an embryonic deity?

How should I behave in relation to others? The important facts to remember are that others are also pre-divine, and it is immoral to impede their education, happiness and health. However if that is unethical it is absolutely unacceptable to impede their freedom. Freedom is self-evident. Everyone must answer the basic philosophical questions, and they must answer for themselves. To destroy one’s own education, happiness, health and individuality is immoral, but is one’s own to destroy or cultivate. The taking away of freedom “for one’s own good” is a contradiction in terms. No matter how ethical one may seem to behave, limiting their freedom will limit their capacity for education. It will limit their capacity for happiness. It will entirely eradicate their divine individuality. Freedom must never be limited. This includes individuals’ freedom to live and gain property as well. As an entitled heir or heiress of heaven we have the right to defend our property, person, and others’ properties and persons from immediate danger. This may come in the form of other countries, other people, or even our government. Those who violate others’ properties and persons must be removed from the society, as they have obviously lost respect for human dignity. We must strive for societies which protect us from these people while still allowing us as much freedom as possible.

What ideas, images, and inventions/creations will I support, utilize and enjoy? Individuality is perhaps the ultimate ideal of my philosophy. We must honor our “divine nature” and “individual worth.” It is also moral to encourage others to do so in such a way that does not limit their freedom. We can do this through our aesthetic principles. We will buy art that shows humans as beautiful and heroic. We will see plays and movies that uphold ideas such as honor, courage and freedom. We will listen to music that pleases us, that helps us to further understand ourselves. We will read what is well written, use what is efficient, wear what is beautiful and well made. When asked what we think, we shall speak. We will live in beautiful places, encourage open minds, and defend truth, freedom, and our divine individuality.

Bibliography

Rand, A. (1982). Philosophy: Who Needs It .New York City, NY, Signet

LDS Church. (2001). Young Women Theme. http://lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b3bc55cbf541229058520974e44916a0/?vgne xtoid=ed462ce2b446c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=725fbe 335dc20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

Moyer, T.J. (1993). “The Family-Now and Forever.” Ensign. 10-12.

Ross, W. D. (1955). Aristotle Selections. NY, Charles Scribner’s Sons.

(1958). Holy Bible, King James Version. Philadelphia, PA, National Bible Press.

(1974) The Book of Mormon: Another Testament Of Jesus Christ. Salt Lake City, UT, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

A different kind of writing...

2008-08-05T13:35:00.002-06:00

July 29, 2008

The following is a long paper I wrote with several other people. They will be kept anonymous, for their protection, but I thought I'd post it anyway.

Reality Show Judging: a New Code of Ethics

Salt Lake Community College

Group Community Writing Campaign

Abstract

Reality TV shows' lack of fairness, ethics and good judgment are making an impact on popular culture. There is a lot of disagreement and discontentment with the values that are being transmitted to the viewers. Through research of several different types of reality shows, we have come up with ideas and ways to improve these shows. The most important things we are looking for are (1) qualified judges, since they represent justice (2) stopping multiple voting (3) assuring that judges cannot change their mind after a decision has been made, and (4) establishing a strict code of ethics between contestants and judges (which also includes: no unprofessional interaction and professional conduct on the parts of both contestants and judges, throughout the entire process, including prescreening). The expected outcome is a fair and enjoyable reality TV show.

In the last decade, the genre of reality television has become culturally iconic. TV shows, on which contestants compete, in particular, have enjoyed immense success. Programs that add viewer voting into the setup are watched and participated in by millions of people. The populous now has an even more direct influence on the “next big thing,” whether musicians, dancers, comedians, or even pets. As entertaining as these shows are, however, they are not immune from criticism. Upon closer examination, one can find many problems with the prescreening techniques, the voting process, and the objectivity of the judges -- problems which could be less glaring with some minor adjustments. How do so many obviously untalented people get on TV in the first place? Is it possible some fans are able to “pad” the votes? How does the audience influence the judges, and how do they influence each other? We will attempt to explore these questions, among others, through the specific formats of four popular reality shows that are centered on four different kinds of talent. We will examine the credibility and objectivity of the judges on each show, explain the effect of viewers or audience members on the eventual outcome, and examine what the code of ethics seems to be, if indeed there is one. We will then put forth specific ideas on how each show, and reality competitions in general, may be improved.

The most popular reality show right now is American Idol. American Idol is a hallmark television program with millions of followers. Idol was created by Simon Fuller, the Spice Girls Svengali, and first aired in England in 2001, as Pop Idol. It came to America the following year, with a new name but with the same purpose: to find market-friendly talent among an enormous pool of amateurs and wannabes (Frere-Jones, 2008, p.74). It has a simple dynamic plot that has captivated America for eight seasons. Every year judges that work for the show travel to different cities in the U.S. searching for talented singers. Long lines of hopeful young performers make their way through preliminary screenings anticipating their moment in front of the three famous judges: Simon Cowell, a successful, hit-making executive for BMG Records in Britain who created and helps produce the series, Paula Abdul, a popular singer and choreographer, and Randy Jackson, a veteran musician (Duffy,2002).

Reality competitions are only as good as the judges who preside over them. The American Idol panel, the gold standard of the genre, proves that the right combination of critiques can add professional insight, comic relief or a verbal jab (much to the delight of the audience) (Kinon,2008, p.1). Each judge has a distinct personality and role on the series. Simon is usually the most critical and direct. His opinion is however the most valued because of his experience in the music industry. Simon is paid to deliver his criticism in a nasty way, although he's usually right. "He's just being honest, saying it in blunt fashion. It's just constructive criticism," said Justin Guarini, a personable Pennsylvanian who was among the favorites to win it all (Duffy, 2002). And then there's Paula -- if she could find it in herself to do a taping sober, she might give some good feedback. John Rich of Nashville Star thinks she's downright disrespectful to contestants with how nonsensical her commentary is (Sample, 2008, p.3).

These performances in front of Simon, Paula, and Randy are called the preliminaries, though the contestants have already been seen by another professional panel to eliminate those that are obviously not qualified- or so you might think. The reality is that these first acts from all over the country can be some of the most entertaining, although sometimes at the singer’s expense. In these episodes of American Idol the judges will send a few singers they think have a shot at winning to a second round in Hollywood. These are also the episodes that showcase a variety of obviously bad auditions. The judges, though honest, can be cruel. This of course is entertaining and is usually a crowd pleaser.

"I think this kind of competition, going in there live, singing a cappella, is as brutal as it can get," says Abdul (Duffy,2002). Although each contestant agrees to the terms and condition of auditioning for the show, it might seem mean spirited to show these obviously bad auditions for amusement and public scrutiny. Some of the contestants who might even be mentally ill or psychologically challenged are ridiculed by the judges and their performances are aired on primetime television. Does this aspect of the contest distract from the real goal of helping an amateur singer rise to the top and become a success?

"The original idea was to do a show that shows what the music business is really like-illogical, sexist, all the things," stated Cowell (Duffy, 2002). The contest's intentions may be pure but judges can be brutal, especially in the preliminaries. In one instance, the usually kinder and more sympathetic Paula and Randy were unusually rude.

“If you were looking for insensitive behavior, Randy and Paula were your go-to judges. The two of them breaking into hysterical laughter as 22-year-old James Lewis sang "Go Down Moses, Let My People Go," was the cruelest moment of the night. They might be forgiven for not having the back story, but the producers made sure to let the viewers in on the fact that the Philadelphia tour guide had been encouraged by his co-workers to audition, obviously some sort of cruel joke on their part, which the producers were happy to help with” (Kerwin,2008, p.30).

Though it may seem the judges have the final word in the preliminaries by the next phase of the contest it’s not just the judges who affect the outcome. Except for the early stages of the competition, when the judges winnow a group of about two hundred down to twenty-four, they can only file amicus briefs. They can say, "It was just O.K. for me, dog," banish singers to cruise ships, and make everyone cry, but the people have the power (Frere-Jones, 2008, p.74).

The judges critique contestants on their vocal ability, song choice, presentation, and other aspects of pop craftsmanship. The American public, though, decides who remains in the running, by phoning and texting in votes after Tuesday night's broadcast (Frere-Jones, 2008, 75). This is an exciting opportunity for the American people to get involved. They feel that their vote might be the deciding facture of who stays on the show and competes until the end or who goes home. American Idol does "an immense good in getting younger people interested in singing." Finkle (2006, p.18) notes that "competition, as we know makes you get better.” Each week contestants are cut based on the popular vote received from text messages sent into the network from the masses. But text messaging voting, though it involves the viewers, has its disadvantages. There is no limit on how many times a viewer can vote in. While interviewing coworkers at my job I found that many of those who voted texted in dozens of times. Therefore the outcome may be a little skewed.

According to Frere-Jones (2008, p.75), seventy-four million votes were cast in the finale of the 2007 season. The problem with the voting may not just be the amount of times one can repeatedly vote, but the lack of experience the general public has with actual musical talent. Simon Cowell’s critiques, though harsh at times, represent real value.

The viewers need to compete only with Simon; Jackson and Abdul both give us plenty of opportunities to feel superior. The self-flummoxing Abdul is physically incapable of not reassuring the contestants. One of the few variables that Jackson seems able to track is pitch (Frere-Jones, 2008, p.75). Even if the professional judges' opinions might be off at times, surely the general public is even less qualified to judge the real art of singing. Finkle (2006, p.18) wrote, "I don't think that the most important factors are being addressed by the judges more than half the time. You're dealing with a range of watchers who [include] musicians and record producers who know what is marketable. According to Finkle (2006, p.13), there are people who vote for contestants because they're cute. Undoubtedly the winner in the grand finale of the show will become an American idol. A show as big as American Idol, is open for all types of people who want to take advantage of it (Keveney, 2006, p.40). Does this contest undermine the real talent that exists in America? Just because it’s popular doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the most valuable. What the judges say about the contestants does not always sway the voters, although Cowell - the only judge who is able to dependably articulate why he thinks certain performances do or don't work - probably affects some (Frere-Jones, 2008, p.75). Hopefully America will realize that to really find the best of the best a popular television show, though it may have many fans, should not be considered the greatest resource for finding America's most talented singers.

In addition to people pets are also expected to hold their own in the world of reality television. Each episode of Pet Star has a talented group of animals and their owners who show off their special talent competing against one another. The winner of the show for that day will receive $2,500 and return at the end of the season and compete for $25,000 in cash and prizes with the other finalist from that season (“Mario Lopez,” 2008, p.1). Any type of animal can participate in the show as there is anything from lizards and ponies to the average dog competing. To showcase your animal’s talent, all you need to do is call or e-mail the producers and they will send you a form to fill out about the talent that will be shown and what type of animal you have. There are also questions not just about your pet's personality but also your personality. According to Borgenicht (2004, p.10), in his book, “Reality TV Handbook,” if you would like to pass the prescreening you need to make your personality more interesting then it really is.

The host of the show Pet Star is Mario Lopez. Mario has been a celebrity star since 1985 in an ABC comedy series (“Mario Lopez,” 2008, p.1). It is unknown if he owns any animals, but he seems to love each animal that comes on stage with him. Mario makes a wonderful host as he is able to get along well with the animals and the panel of judges (C. Cole, personal communication, July 7, 2008).

The panel of judges is made up of celebrities. The judges will stay for that season then next season there will be new celebrities judging the contestants. Some judges are Ben Stein, Susan Yezzi, Billy West, Brad Pitt, Melissa Pertman, and Brett Butler to name a few (“Animal Planet’s,” 2008, p.1). For each show there are always three judges on the panel. The main things the judges have in common are that they are well known celebrities that are either annoying or funny (C. Cole, personal communication, July 7, 2008). The article “Favorite Reality Television Judges” by Andy Dehnart (2008, p.3) states, “Judges on reality shows need to be knowledgeable, articulate and entertaining, or some combination of those.” Dehnart’s point is that you don’t need to be an animal trainer or have an educated knowledge of animals to be a judge deciding America’s talented animals but you need to be funny and well known.

The judges vote after each animal has preformed their talent on stage giving them points from 1-10, 10 being the best (“Mario Lopez,” 2008, p.1). The judges are to write in their score before they begin to share what they thought of the animal that just preformed. Their comments are not as rude as other reality shows, but uplifting. As the judges may not be educated about the animal that is performing, the judges may not be as awed by a pet that is not incredible. If you really knew the animal and the behaviors of that animal you would find it either normal or simply amazing. An example of this is from the episode on July 7, 2008; the first contestant, a border collie jumped for Frisbees as the owner threw them while the second, a potbellied pig, went through an army obstacle course. The judges gave the Border collie one 9 and two 10s, while they gave the pig two 8s and one 9 (Ross, 2004). Both performances were well done with little mistakes. To me this was unfair judging. If you knew about the two animals you would know that Border Collies learn very fast and are very smart while potbellied pigs are stubborn and hard to train. The correct way to judge this show is to have judges that actually know about different animals and have studied their personalities.

The code of ethics that is illustrated in Pet Star shows professional conduct. As the backstage and the true prescreening of the show are not shown, there is no way to find out if there is unprofessional conduct or unfair prescreening. In most reality competition shows the judges meet the contestants before they are brought on the show, this can be unfair and cause discrimination or prejudging. A change that should be made in Pet Star is to have educated judges that know animals and their natural behaviors. With this change in the show there will be fairness in judging and the right “pet star” will be found.

While the comments on reality shows are often amusing, one show’s purpose is to find the funniest person in America. Last Comic Standing is a reality show in which stand-up comedians compete for the favor of NBC producers, celebrity talent scouts, and of course, audience members. If they succeed in this endeavor, as of the sixth season, they win, “a $250,000 grand prize including an exclusive talent deal with NBC, a brand new Honda, and a starring appearance in Jubilee! at Bally's Las Vegas.” (“Information About Last”, 2008, p.1). Comedians that attend auditions, are given a chance to perform in live showcases, and are narrowed down to only the best. Then they are voted on by the audience.

The show is hosted by Bill Bellamy, who is a comedian. Bellamy has hosted Def Comedy Jam and received an NAACP Image Award. The show also boasts “special correspondents” Fearne Cotton, ANT, and past winner Debra DiGiovanni (“Information About Last”, 2008, p.1).

The participants on the show are diverse. Anyone who thinks they are funny finds their way to the auditions. Many of the contestants who are successful have been doing stand-up for a while, but their styles differ widely. The most recent season started off with the expected satire on everyday life that stand-up generally consists of, as well as a man who impersonates dinosaurs and mosquitoes and one totes his rather large bass fiddle onstage (Hurwitz, 2008). Auditions are open, and it is up to the many celebrity talent scouts to decide who will go to the next round. The scouts don’t always agree about who is funny, but if one sees potential s/he can usually convince his/her fellow judges to give the contestant a chance. The producers are pretty good about which auditions make it into actual air-time: bad comedians are only shown to give the scouts an opportunity to explain what they are looking for or an interesting aspect of the show, such as when a comedian refuses to be rejected, as shown on a recent episode. However, this is not always the case. In one episode, we see a shirtless man in clown make-up make one bizarre statement before the scouts command him to leave. It is likely that the producers show this audition to highlight all the strange diversity of comedy, but it seems just as likely that they had another thirty seconds of air-time to fill (Hurwitz, 2008).

The talent scouts consist of several comedians and comedic actors. While many viewers would agree that these people are funny, and they have obviously found success, one may ask why they are any more qualified to know what’s funny than anyone else. Just because an actor can deliver someone else’s lines well, we give them the credit for being funny but, what about the writer? After all, stand-up comedians have to write their own material as well. Perhaps this is the reason that nearly all of the show’s talent scouts have experience in stand-up, improvisational comedy, or writing. All have been trained in the art of comedy, yet comedy is still highly subjective. After all, what makes someone laugh? Connie Weiss (2008, p.1) quotes Susanne Langer as saying that this is the wrong question-that humor is only one of the “causes of laughter.” Weiss points out that laughter can come from relief or surprise. We may find some things funny that one close to the situation would not, our detachment provides the humor. In contrast, we may find a dark or satirical joke amusing precisely because we can relate to the situation. Weiss observes that comedy often surrounds tragedy, perhaps as a way of dealing with it. This is valid, as satire or “spoofs” have become increasingly popular, and directors like Mel Brooks have based their career on them (T. Dirks, 1996, p.1). It is also what stand-up tends to be about-experiences are embellished or under exaggerated in order to see humor in them. A qualified judge would be one who understands what makes other people laugh and why. The scouts and judges are aware of these techniques, and they have honed their own comedic ability, but they are not free from bias.

While there is no popular vote in Last Comic Standing until the final round, placing more emphasis on professional opinion than many shows, although, viewers still have influence. Comedians perform in showcases, in which judges and the general population are able to see their talent. This is an important part of the process, comedian Tony Jaeger states that “Ultimately, the number of people in your audience that are laughing is the key to comedic greatness” (Jaeger, personal communication, July 7, 2008). It is important to test the hopeful comedian out on an audience. This however, definitely influences a judge’s opinion. Laughter is infectious and a judge may suddenly see a comedian as much funnier (or less amusing) in front of an audience. This also has subtle influences on the viewer who looks forward to voting. The cameramen focus on those members of the audience who seem to be having the most fun, presenting an infectious mood to the viewers as well. There is something to be said for a live connection as well. Comedy is much funnier in person, and it’s much funnier in the front row than in the back. Judge Lonny Ross stated that comedy doesn’t always translate, and though he was referring to cultural differences, it could apply to live versus filmed comedy as well.

Compared to some reality shows, Last Comic Standing runs fairly professionally. However, to limit the judge/audience influence on each other, it might be helpful to split the sections of the show. For example, the talent scouts could choose their favorite comedians from the audition. Those comedians could then perform in a showcase for an audience who votes once for their favorite-this audience would not include the judges. This would consist of the first elimination, and the show would proceed with similar guidelines until a winner is chosen. This would respect the importance of the live audience, check the people’s influences on the judges, and still allow the professional influence to be paramount.

In addition to singing, pets, and comedy, dance as become a popular subject for reality shows. America’s Best Dance Crew is a TV show broadcasted through MTV where dance groups known as “street crews” compete for money and prizes. Randy Jackson, a very successful Grammy Award-winning producer who is also a judge in the aforementioned American Idol, created the show. America’s Best Dance Crew is hosted by Mario Lopez (previously Pet Star’s host), and he hosts quite well. He does however, get overexcited sometimes and starts to demonstrate certain empathy for some of the contestants, usually when they do something totally out of the box and Mario shows his emotion in an exaggerated way.

As I previously mentioned the participants here are called “street crews”, though many of them really aren’t; most of them look pretty preppy or at least they are middle class. They might even go to dancing academies. It’s very strange how the judges refer to them as if they came from the streets even if they are not. It looks absolutely fake how some of the judges would tell them that they know what it is like to come from the streets and how difficult it is to overcome, that is annoying, even though some of the contestants really do come from the streets and most have been dancing in the streets for a long time. Only two or three groups at the most out of the twelve that compete are from the streets (Kubicek, 2007, p.1). These contestants are usually the ones that have the best qualities and do the best performances. Mario Lopez needs to remember that he is the host and he has to show partiality and not favoritism to the street dancers. The main purpose of the show is to make streets dancers famous, and when they bring people that have been going to academies or schools to the show kind of contradicts the purpose of the show (Ominous, 2007, p. 3).

The jury consist of three judges; JC Chasez, Lil Mama and Shane Sparks. JC Chasez used to be one of the members of NSYNC. Lil Mama is a former rapper-singer. Last but not least, Shane Sparks is the only professional dancer of the jury. Here is where the biggest problem is, the jury (Cudworth, 2008, p.2). Not including Shane Sparks, who is the only judge that makes good observations to the contestants’ performances and provides them with a constructive critique, JC Chasez and Lil Mama are very questionable participants on the show. Lil Mama is the main problem because of her poor critiques. There is lack of constructive comments, and the way she expresses herself makes her very hard to understand. Besides she isn’t really a dancer, she is a singer, so we could say that her experience is not relevant. Then we have JC Chasez, who has been out of the scene for almost six years. After NSYNC tore apart he tried to start a solo career, which turned out to be a big failure (Cudworth, 2008, p.2). He gained a lot of experience dancing with his group and he probably learned some basics, but let’s face it, he was just a pretty face.

The voting system is very simple, call as many times that is necessary for your favorite crew. I personally don’t vote for the contestants, but there is some sense of coherency of who is going home and who is staying in the program. We could say that there is some fairness in that part. There have only been two seasons so far, and none of the judges have changed their decisions nor have any argued the reason why certain crews have gone home. There has never been any intimate interaction between contestants and the people in charge of the show (judges, hosts, producers, executives, etc.) so that speaks volumes about the ethics of the program (Kurtz, 2007, p. 69).

In conclusion, to have absolute fairness in the show Mario Lopez would have to stop showing his favoritism. It is not necessary to kick him out, if he would just improve in that he would become a better host. Two of the judges definitely would have to be replaced for others more capable and with more experience, of the same caliber of Shane Sparks to be more specific. This way all spectators would enjoy a more fair TV show and would with no doubt keep watching it (Hill, 2005 p. 47).

As we have made evident, with the creation of a code of ethics and small changes in the voting and prescreening processes, as well as choosing highly qualified judges, reality competitions could be about real talent. These changes will result in better conditions (and chances) for the contestants, more respected judges, and an even more enjoyable experience for the viewers.

References

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The Utah Museum of Fine Arts: Monet to Picasso

2008-07-30T21:29:00.001-06:00

The exhibit was amazing. I looked at the works in a different way than most of the other people, especially the paintings. I want not only to see the painting, but to see the brushstrokes, to be inside it, to make love to it. I want to live in the world of the painting for as long as possible. In fact I was a little overwhelmed. I wanted to just stare at each painting for an hour or more in order to absorb it fully.

I was thinking of what I was looking at, and I was thinking there should be more of a physical response to it. I should faint or cry or have some outward manifestation towards so much beauty. When I saw the first Van Gogh, I found it hard not to scream or to cry. Nevertheless, I only smiled.

I am always amazed at how looking at art affirms certain aspects of my philosophy. In a painting from the blue period of Picasso, the accompanying placard speculates that it could be a comment on profane love versus perfect love. The painting features a couple on one side and a woman and child on the other. I thought very clearly, “No, sexual love is not profane.” It was uplifting to be so sure of myself for once.

My favorite part of the exhibit was Auguste Rodin. I wasn’t expecting any work by him, let alone his most famous work, The Thinker. I knew that Rodin thought that one is able to express mood through the body just as well as the face. His work truly exhibits this. It is almost strange that his sculptures don’t move. There was a rather large sculpture of a nude young man that had been controversial in his time. It was my favorite because it seemed so strong. It seemed to express a love for humanity and a quiet joy in being alive.

Overall, it was an amazing experience and I would love to go again.

Computer Ethics

2008-07-27T21:56:00.000-06:00

Plagiarism and software piracy are illegal in the United States, and are generally agreed to be morally wrong as well. However, our world is changing fast. New words and phrases such as Napster and Random Access Memory are being invented every second. What do the words plagiarism, software piracy and copyright infringement mean?

The dictionary* defines plagiarism as “the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work.” As a would be writer, I find plagiarism morally reprehensible. It is the ultimate “sell out”. One who desires to achieve recognition but is so unwilling to work for it has no self-respect and likely self-esteem issues as well. That being said, as a would be writer I am also aware of influences from other authors seeping into ones work. For example, I easily could have begun this paper by saying, “It is a truth universally acknowledged that plagiarism is wrong.” I would not begin the paper this way because that statement is probably not true, but readers of Jane Austen will find it eerily familiar. The first line of Jane Austen’s book Pride and Prejudice begins “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.”** If I ever write the phrase “It is a truth universally acknowledged,” is that plagiarism? It is such a nice concise way of saying things, but certainly a “close imitation” of that sentence. We both speak the English language after all, surely some words will overlap. How many consecutive words must be said and not attributed for something to count as plagiarism?

Software piracy is another tricky issue. If my boyfriend buys a bunch of CDs and then uses a CD burner to make me a mix CD for my birthday, is that piracy? Should he have bought those songs a second time on iTunes and then erased them once he had the hard copy? I suppose that would be the most moral, but no one has provided a satisfactory answer to this question. What if he takes songs from CDs he already owns and makes himself a mix? Should he have purchased those songs a second time? I personally feel that that would be rather stupid. He must pay to put them on another CD but he can build a play list on his iPod and get the same experience for free? There is the rather immoral act of defining the point until it is ludicrous. Even Rene Descartes admitted some things have to be just given. How far does our ownership reach? We can listen to music on the radio for free, but to listen to it on our computer we have to buy it? There is a logical gap here. Yet even I will agree that a mix CD seems to be in a different category than highly expensive software, or even a complete disc of one artist’s music. But the question still remains-where do we draw the line? Should we pay for radio now? (Some of us do, and enjoy it.) Should we ban libraries, which are the closest some individuals get to having a formal education? Libraries lend music and books to people all the time. I can get a CD from the library, listen to it constantly for free and if it is worth buying, I buy my own copy. I can also download a CD from an illegal website, listen to it constantly for free, and if it is worth buying, I buy a copy. If it is not worth buying, I didn’t waste my money and the musician got some free advertising out of the deal. I don’t see how this is different from radio or the library. The article on which this paper is based claims that bands do not appreciate this as they prefer to do their own advertising. This makes me question how many musicians the author actually knows. The musicians I have been lucky enough to hang out with appreciate any and all advertisements. Can you think of any other possible reason Ozzy Osbourne would bite heads off bats? Metallica’s many court cases particularly amuse me. Music has always been about protest and double checking the status quo, from Woody Guthrie to the Sex Pistols to Christian rock. Metallica has a lawsuit every time someone says their name. They even sued Victoria’s Secret-who is going to think that Metallica the band and Metallica the perfume are the same thing? A band that gave mothers of the early nineties nightmares.

In conclusion, these things are hard to define. I have already made this paper twice as long as it needs to be, and will spare the reader details of my own philosophy of property rights except to say this: To take something that belongs to someone else, from an apple to an idea, and say that it is yours is wrong and degrades all humanity. To be touched an inspired and overjoyed by another’s creation is a love of humanity. That is the true difference, and the true line that must be drawn. We cannot force people to love truth, but those who do should not be punished for finding it-they are the one’s who know when something is worth paying for, after all.

*"plagiarism." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 23 Jun. 2007. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/plagiarism>.

** Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. Great Britain: Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1999.

Constructing a Life Philosophy Paper

2008-07-20T22:11:00.000-06:00

Why is philosophy important? Everything is a reflection of our philosophy-even the time we got up today (and our attitude upon waking). Are we “morning people” or “night people”? This is just one example of many incidents that give our views on life, whether we will or nil. It is then important to examine what those views are, to ask ourselves if they will lead to happiness and indeed, what that happiness we may be vaguely searching for is. In chapter one of Constructing a Life Philosophy, several individuals try to do just that.

We begin with M. Scott Peck. Peck sees life as a journey with various destinations or goals along the way. Each of us has a map-a complex viewpoint or philosophy-that tell us how to get where we’re going. Problems arise when the map has errors, either in where we are going or in the legend. A false map will not lead us where we want to go.

As an example, Peck tells us of “brilliant but unsuccessful” computer technician whose wife has left him and the children have gone with her. At first, the man did not appear to be very distressed about his marriage, only his children. Neither did the man seem distressed over his lack of career and financial success. As Peck talked to the man he discovered that his childhood had not been the best. While the man’s parents were not aggressive towards him, they were often neglectful. The man defended his parents, but found it hard to trust people; particularly authority figures that he believed did not have his best interests at heart. However he was very affectionate with his children, a relationship where he was the authority and therefore had the “upper hand” as it were. Peck believed that every time the man attempted to reach the destinations of familial or financial success the map would warn him not to trust the other crucial parties such as a spouse or supervisor. The man must change his map to read not to trust his parents and other people that really had let him down. Peck admits that while facing the truth may be very painful, it is necessary to reach our goals in life.

Plato also discusses the painful necessity of facing the truth. Plato, like Peck, uses a symbolic allegory to describe our search for truth and happiness. Plato describes the typical individual as living in a cave. While in the cave the individual must face the back wall on which (s)he sees shadows of everyday things like plants, animals, vehicles and such. As this is all the individual ever sees, this is his whole idea of reality. Plato then supposes he releases the individual from the chains and shows him what has been creating the shadows-small toys and models. The individual cannot believe it and it is likely that the toys will seem less real to him than the shadows on the cave wall. The individual will be in denial, much like the man defending his negligent parents in the first viewpoint. Once the individual is used to the models Plato speculates on leading him out of the cave to face the real world. The individual must adjust to the light, the wind, an entirely new and different view of reality. Like the man in the first viewpoint, it may be easy for us to slip back into old beliefs, to have a desire to run back to the cave. However, once the individual sees real plants and animals he gradually comes to appreciate them and feel how truly unrealistic the shadows were, how little his reality matched the truth. Yet were he to tell other individuals in the cave they would likely disbelieve him and even think he was trying to do them a disservice.

Sam Keen and Anne Valley-Fox also emphasize the importance of the story. They claim it is the stories we and society tell that shape our philosophy. These stories can be beneficial or detrimental. For example, an individual influenced by Watergate may develop a healthy skepticism of government or they become paranoid of all authority. The above stories, if incorporated into one's world view may encourage one to face hard truths, or they may influence one to create drama in a twisted attempt to discover further knowledge. The key, say Keen and Valley-Fox, is to find a story that helps an individual to achieve one’s goals. All philosophy tells a story, and all stories create a philosophy.

So now that we know that it is important to search for happiness and meaning and that truth and our stories are key to understanding, the next questions are: what is happiness? What gives life meaning? How do we go about finding it? The following viewpoints all agree it must be our decision to look for meaning and to cultivate it in our lives. However, they differ on where we should start looking.

Richard Robinson claims life has no intrinsic meaning and that individuals are entirely responsible for creating their own paths. This is nobler than many philosophies or religions he claims because it does not relieve any responsibility from us or give any blueprint for how we should act. He does advocate the ideas of brotherly love and courage as these are necessary to survival.

Charles Colson disagrees with Robinson. According to Colson, the only thing that can bring us true happiness and meaning is finding peace with Deity, particularly the Christian idea thereof. Colson tells a story that is full of wrong turns and scandal. On the suggestion of a friend, Colson prays and begins to study Christianity. Colson feels what could be called spiritual manifestation that Christ is the Savior. With the extreme differences between Robinson and Colson’s respective ideas, they both agree that the decision to find meaning is ours.

Riane Eisler advocates honor of the female Deity, as represented by and manifested in nature. If religion and society were not male dominated, Eisler insists, we would be less exploitive of natural resources and of other people. Eisler strongly emphasizes the ideal is not a female dominated society either, but rather one that is based on partnership. Like Robinson and Colson, Eisler believes we should seek each other out in order to better each others lives. Partnership, or an equal society, will encourage balance among the world which will leave us with socially and economically rich societies.

Like Colson and Eisler, Emil Brunner also encourages a relationship with Deity. He holds the belief that evidence of God’s power and love is everywhere, which mimics Eisler’s divine view of the earth. According to Brunner, the very idea that we were created by God implies a purpose. Like Robinson, Brunner claims it is our responsibility to find our individual life plan, which Brunner believes comes from God. It is likely that the results of an individual living by Brunner’s ideas and one living by Robinson’s would lead very similar lifestyles. This is very interesting considering their original idea of what gives life meaning are essentially polar opposites.

Brooke Medicine Eagle’s view is reminiscent of Eisler’s, although Medicine Eagle perhaps focuses more on the Human-Earth relationship than the Society-Earth relationship. Medicine Eagle believes that as all things are creations of Deity, all living things are children and manifestations of that Deity. Therefore all things, including ourselves, deserve respect and honor.

Despite the many differences in the various viewpoints we can see a couple themes. All seem to agree that we must constantly be striving for truth. All, whether explicitly or implicitly, accept the importance of stories and their influence. All believe that to some extent we are responsible for our own happiness-which does not have to be frightening as Robinson reminds us. All agree we must respect ourselves and other people. A trusting relationship with a higher power seems to be important, even if that higher power is our own human potential. Perhaps the most important thing we can glean from these writers is that, while there may be vast differences in belief and culture, we all to some degree want the same thing. Diversity and unity is possible, and as long as one lives with honor we can respect them.

Mathematics and Beauty: A Golden Connection

2008-07-12T18:44:00.000-06:00

Beauty is mysterious.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” “Beauty is an illusion.” These ideas make beauty seem so subjective, so transient. Surely many prefer it that way. But what of us who crave the eternal? What of the scientists and philosophers who seek truth, the artists and engineers who sense all of time in one raised eyebrow or perfect pediment? Is that for naught?

What if there was some magical property that justified the beautiful, that widened, not narrowed our definitions thereof? What if the whole world was beautiful?

There may be no magic spell, but there is however, the next best thing: an equation. The Greek letter phi is defined as the following: (a+b)/a=a/b. If we simplify these terms, we are soon left with Phi^2-Phi-1=0. As we can see, this is a quadratic equation, and the only positive solution is (1+√5)/2=1.61803399.

What does this have to do with beauty? This is where things get interesting. As we will soon see, this ratio seems almost omnipresent. We can see it in faces, in flowers, in fruit, and even in fountains. All these beautiful things often have this ratio as a common thread between them. One may argue that this is just as subjective as anything else. As we examine the history of the ratio, we shall see why this particular philosophy of beauty deserves merit.

We start with Phidias, who was born in about 430 BCE in Greece. Phidias was a sculptor, painter, and architect, generally regarded as the greatest of his time. Favored by the leader Pericles, it is generally believed that Phidias designed the statues that reside in the Parthenon. We do not know much about Phidias, and cannot say for certain he knew of the ratio, but he seems to have employed it in his work. It is for this reason we call the ratio phi, the transliterated first letter in Phidias’ name.

Our next character is the philosopher Plato or Platon, born in Athens, Greece in about 427 BCE. In one of Plato’s dialogues, Honor, he describes 5 solids, all convex regular polyhedrons. Some of these solids are related to the golden ratio. In fact, it is possible to combine the solids and find even further examples of the golden ratio. Once again however, we do not know if Plato was aware of these relationships or not.

The first record of the golden ratio we are aware of occurred in the mathematician Euclid’s (or Euklidis’) book Elements. This book is so influential, we are still required to study it in secondary schools. Euclid, who was also Greek and born in about 300 BCE, actually defines the golden ratio. Euclid described it as the extreme and mean ratio.

It wasn’t until the middle-ages and the work of Italian mathematician Fibonacci that we were able to learn more about the ratio. In his The Book of the Abacus Fibonacci describes a sequence of numbers where each number is the sum of the two numbers before it, e.g. 3,5,8,13,21 etc. It can be observed that the farther we take this sequence, the closer the ratio of any two consecutive numbers (3/5, 5/8) gets to phi. While he did not discover this sequence, he popularized it, and it is now known as the Fibbonacci sequence.

Luca Bartolomeo de Pacioli, Italian mathematician and friar, wrote The Divine Proportion, published in 1509. This book was illustrated by Leonardo Da Vinci and explored how the ratio related to art and architecture. It also showed how the proportion applied to people-with proportions on the face and body being close to phi. The following quote shows Pacioli’s thoughts on the ratio:

The Ancients, having taken into consideration the rigorous construction of the human body, elaborated all their works, as especially their holy temples, according to these proportions; for they found here the two principal figures without which no project is possible: the perfection of the circle, the principle of all regular bodies, and the equilateral square.

(Emphasis added)

Johannes Kepler was a German mathematician, astronomer, and astrologer born in 1571. Kepler was mainly concerned with uniting astronomy and physics, and in doing so was able to show that planets did not move in orbs (circles) as previously thought, but in orbits (ellipses). We were able to find that golden ratios often show up in ellipses, and Kepler later said

Geometry has two great treasures: one is the Theorem of Pythagoras, and the other the division of a line into extreme and mean ratio; the first we may compare to a measure of gold, the second we may name a precious jewel.

So far we have seen the ratio in shapes, architecture, art, people, and in the shape and movements of an ellipse. Those who think Phi is just a coincidence are losing their arguments. In the eighteenth century, Charles Bonnet, a Swiss naturalist and philosopher is finding it in plants. The spiral phyllotaxis (or leaf arrangement along the shoot of plants) going clockwise and counter-clockwise is often two successive Fibonacci sequences. We also find this in the spirals of the nautilus shell and the petals and seeds of the sunflower. German mathematician Martin Ohm begins to describe this ratio as “golden”.

French mathematician François Édouard Anatole Lucas studied the Fibonacci sequence and is the namesake of the related Lucas sequence, whose ratios also get closer and closer to phi. Lucas came up with a formula for the nth Fibonacci term, which is as follows. Fsub (n+1) = Fsub (n) + Fsub (n-1). He also gave the sequence the name Fibonacci Sequence.

It wasn’t until about 1909 that phi became the symbol for the ratio, as given by Mark Barr, an American mathematician. Today even more exciting connections are being made to the golden ratio by individuals such as Roger Penrose among others.

Gustav Theodor Fechner did studies that show that 75% of people prefer golden ratios, and subtle (highly unscientific) evidence in our culture seems to support this. Others, like George Markowsky, say it is all coincidence. But we may find that is not even the point. The point is that we find things such as order and symmetry to be worthy of our time. The point is that when we see beauty, we joy in it. H.E. Huntley says this is a response driven by an inner desire to create, and to see that it is good. He says:

Man is by nature a creator. After the likeness of his Maker, man is born to create: to fashion beauty, to originate new values. That is his supreme vocation. This truth awakens a resonant response deep within us, for we know that one of the most intense joys that the soul of man can experience is that of creative activity. Ask the artist. Ask the poet. Ask the scientist. Ask the inventor or my neighbor who grows prize roses. They all know the deep spiritual satisfaction associated with the moment of orgasm of creation.

I would add that beauty shows us our values. Do we value order & intelligence or do we value the dark primordial chaos from whence we came? Do we value this beauty we find even on ourselves? Do we value that we are perfectly made, by God or nature, to be beautiful?

I will end with the ratio as defined by Adolf Zeising.

[A universal law] in which is contained the ground-principle of all formative striving for beauty and completeness in the realms of both nature and art, and which permeates, as a paramount spiritual ideal, all structures, forms and proportions, whether cosmic or individual, organic or inorganic, acoustic or optical; which finds its fullest realization, however, in the human form.

Is that not something we can value?

The House of Chanel

2008-07-05T17:11:00.000-06:00

The Parisian fashion house Chanel is probably among the most influential fashion lines in the world, both at its birth in 1910 and today. The House was founded by Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel, more commonly known as Coco Chanel. Such iconic fashion items as the little black dress and tweed suit became mainstream because of Chanel, and Chanel number five is one of the most popular perfumes today. Chanel is also famous for it’s quilted fabric, made with a secret technique to keep it strong. Chanel’s philosophy was that style should be effortless, elegant, and tastefully sexy. The line soon became associated with wealth. Many things that are known as classic French styles were created or reinvented by Chanel, and Chanel herself seems to reflect the French aesthetic. Attributed with saying “Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury” and “A woman is closest to being naked when she is well dressed”, the look is the classic idea of elegance without excess. When Karl Lagerfeld took over in 1983, the line got a new slightly more daring attitude, but is still characterized by unique designs, luxurious details, and impeccable quality.

Papers...

2008-06-21T15:52:00.003-06:00

So I've decided I might as well post the papers I'm writing since I'm too busy to write anything else. They will pop up with alarming frequency, so enjoy! By the way, while I may cite works in my paper, I won't list them because, well, I don't want to. And, needless to say, don't plagiarize me.

Fashionistas

In an attempt to define folklore, Jan Harold Brunvand said, “The first test a folklorist could make of membership in a folk group is the members’ awareness of shared traditions; then the background of this heritage can be investigated.” (Brunvand, 51)

So-called fashionistas definitely have shared traditions, all revolving around their biggest shared activity-purchasing clothing. Before examining these traditions however, let us first define a fashionista.

People outside the group tend to use the word as an insult, yet insiders do not feel this way. On urbandictionary.com, a website that allows people to catalogue and define slang words, user Nicolethe14 defines a fashionista as “A person devoted to fashion clothing, particularily (sic) unique or high fashion. A person not to be called a fashionista would be someone who obsessively follows trends. REAL fashionistas do not believe in trends.” (urbandictionary.com) In contrast, user How To Make A Scene dismisses fashionistas as “fashionable sheep.” (urbandictionary.com) This can lead one to the conclusion that fashionistas feel misunderstood, that they are seen as “insecure, lonely, vacuous,” and that “they typically judge others, particularly potential mates, solely on looks and cliques.” (urbandictionary.com) Nicolethe14 counters that these are not true fashionistas but “that type of person would be more correctly labeled a fashion whore or a shallow bitch.” For our purposes, we will take the term fashionista to mean anyone with a devoted interest in fashion-whether they take the actual topic seriously or not.

The most obvious component of fashionista folklore is the clothing. This is a folk group that revolves around taking elaborately designed costumes and using them in everyday life. Fashion does operate as a vehicle of gesunkenes Kulturgut (Brunvand, 50), and fashionistas follow it from the highest levels down to the lowest (as seen in the quote from The Devil Wears Prada, below).

Fashionistas have their own unique vocabulary, one that celebrates heroes, includes proverbs, and has slightly different meanings than mainstream vocabulary. For example, gladiator, in fashion speak, means a shoe rather than a combatant. Fashionistas do not see seasons the way others do-there is fall (September-December), spring (April-August), and resort (January-March). Fashion proverbs are highly dynamic and change often-such as “don’t wear white after labor day”, a dictate that is now largely ignored. While actual stories may be rare, some names are spoken with a legendary reverence: Lagerfeld, Valentino, Ghesquiere.

Fashionista folk customs revolve around one major festival in four major cities: Fashion Week. This bi-annual event is what the fashion world revolves around. New York, New York; Milan, Italy; Paris, France; and London, England: every fall and spring fashionistas flock to see the works of art the designers are showing. Some shows are incredibly elaborate-Karl Lagerfeld hosted the Chanel show on the Great Wall of China instead of it’s usual home in Paris. Others are very simple, a runway under a tent with folding chairs in Bryant Park. It is an appearance at fashion week that solidifies a designer’s art into icons, rather than just clothes. This is the ultimate elitist fashion, which will be tweaked, copied, and filtered from the trendiest boutiques to the most bare bones t-shirts and discount clothing. Fashion Week is a crazy rush of beauticians, designers, tailors, models, sometimes deejays, and of course fashionistas. The goal of a fashionista is to look as good as possible for each designer’s show, in the designer’s previous work of course, and arrive early. The fashionista will be constantly critiquing, adding and subtracting elements of the designs (and often the clothing of their fellow guests, who always include celebrities) for their own personal style statement. Those who are new to fashion week (and even those who are not) are generally in awe, although they are “chic” enough not to show it. As teenfashionista says, “I dream about the day I can flee to NYC. I want to live in Bryant Park during Fashion Week.” (teenfashionista.blogspot.com) Fashion, despite the pure abundance of possibilities, is all about editing, and fashionistas appreciate the work designers do in finding just the right new idea.

So in a sub-culture that is all about “stuff”, how can fashionistas possibly gain legitimacy? Fashionistas know that every item makes a statement that reflects on the user, even if that statement is “I’m not trying to make a statement.” Fashionistas know that if life were completely utilitarian, we would lose the good things: chocolate, lace, pleasure, music, satin. Fashion is, for better or worse, inevitable, and fashion speaks. The character Miranda in the film The Devil Wears Prada states it well.

This... “Stuff”? Oh, ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. You're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets?...And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of stuff. (The Devil Wears Prada)

2008-06-14T23:07:00.002-06:00

I am saving lives
I am making enemies
I am finding my soul mate
I am knowing the unknown
I am falling in love
I am fighting wars in my sleep
I am writing the stories
I am keeper of the secrets
I am proclaimer of truth
I am crying for you...
I am conversing with the angels
I am conquering the alleyways
I am slaying the dragon
I am bowing to My King
I am learning to be queen
I am listening to my Divine
I am preparing for apotheosis.

Do we realize life is everything the poets and prophets claim it to be, and more? How deep the glittering ember of stardust is, when it's only one flame from a sun?

A New Blog!

2008-03-01T13:17:00.002-07:00

I have found a new blog that I enjoy reading. It is Stuff White People Like. I don't yet know whether I agree with all the writer says, but it's pretty funny none the less.
Try it out and let me know what you think!
PS The post for February 28th says Spanish is a poor substitute for French. Perhaps this is only an eastern thing? In the western US, in my experience, everyone speaks at least a little Spanish. Am I thinking correctly?

Musing

2008-02-24T19:02:00.002-07:00

I believe that if you can possibly bear something-a song, a film, an experience-you should. Everything has a purpose and therefore even the least sophisticated creation may have some glorious truth to be gleaned.
Oscar Wilde said all bad poetry is sincere, which perhaps explains why even some of the most monotonous rock songs are still good. Think of "American Music" by The Violent Femmes. From an aestheticist's eye, that song sucks, but I do love it so, because I do like American Music!
That being said, if you glean no truth, and cannot find someone to satisfactorily find it either; or worse, find a lie, the "something"-song, film, experience-should be cast out with great force, as with the devil.

Finally Playing

2008-02-13T21:24:00.003-07:00

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Take Toby to the doctor.
2. Go to work
3. Eat
4. Survive
5. Talk to Sara

5 Snacks I enjoy:
1. Almonds
2.Popcorn
3.Yougurt or cheese (they're both dairy right?)
4. Fruit
5. French Fries

What would I do if I were suddenly made a billionaire:
Buy my parents house for them and then hire people so they could get it fixed the way they want. If they don't want that, I would buy it from them.
I would also buy the yellow house.
I would buy a lot of fun stuff of course.
I would donate a lot of money to my alma maters, my church, and a few select non-profits.
I would start a publishing company.
I would set up scholarship/mission funds for my nieces/nephews and their children.
I would start a school. It would be technically private but I would keep it cheap as possible and offer scholarships.

5 places I have lived:
1. Rose Park
2. Sugarhouse
3. Fayetteville for one month.
4.
5.

5 jobs I have had
1.Telemarketer
2. Victoria's Secret
3. Hawker
4. Student
5. Writer

5 things people don't know about me:

1.The depth of my ambition in some respects

2.The depth of my apathy in some respects.

3. The depth of my love for pretty things. (Clothes, people, buildings)

4. That I OD'd on my anti-anxiety pills last night.

5. I like to color.

True don't you think?

2007-11-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

TAURUS- The Aggresive One
(4/20-5/20)
Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very loyal. Great kisser. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

Lessons From The Enemy

2007-09-09T14:05:00.000-06:00

When someone falls from the sky, you just don’t know. They could be a god, but they could be one of us. You just have to wait and see. Most of the time they’re just another mortal, and you just need to make sure they’re not too happy, not too fulfilled. Keep them in the dark so they don’t really know what’s going on. They might join some social cause, they might wreck someone’s self esteem, but they are essentially average and hopefully discontent.

Sometimes you get one that is just waiting for some sort of immortality. One that’s aware of us. That knows it didn’t have just another nightmare. That realizes the gravitas. That knows you’ve been watching it all day. It isn’t mediocre. It doesn’t get drunk and go to bed. It talks to THEM and crusades against us. Or if we work it out right, it destroys. It kills something, maybe even itself.

When that happens it’s a clear win. Then it’s just like us. Even better, it chose to be just like us. It’s completely responsible for it. But sometimes, it decides it hates us. That’s the wrong word. Everyone hates us, we hate us. It decides to fight us. It doesn’t acknowledge that we’re there, but we’re not ignored either. It hurts us, but doesn’t even revel in it. It becomes garish. It stays in the lights, but doesn’t fear the dark. It decides it’s some sort of god. Some of us refuse to admit it gets stronger but it does. It starts to know things like what we can’t do. It doesn’t let us tell it things. It knows we lie. Our tricks work well, but not against a demi-god.

We say i need more belief in us. i say we need to face facts. We need to find the Ones and conquer. Because it decides who wins: us or THEM.

Finals Week (and a half)

2007-07-29T14:14:00.000-06:00

Inspired by Eli's cathartic post, I thought I would tell you how school is going. I particularly would love it if JoAnna read and responded to my issue.
In my math class, instead of taking a final exam, we are doing a final project. This includes a 5 page paper and a 5-7 minute presentation for the class. My topic is aesthetics and math; ratios, Fibonacci, Vitruvius, Pi, Da Vinci, and the like. I have been reading books about such things but I am starting to get nervous. I don't know what my point is going to be, exactly. The book I was reading is suddenly very mathematical and I don't know what concepts I am supposed to be getting from it. And I have two other tests demanding my attention.
I am not freaking out, but I am very concerned.

Me! Me! Meme!

2007-07-25T10:53:00.000-06:00

So Eli has tagged me with a meme. The challenge is to write eight "random" things about myself. So here goes:
1) I am highly neurotic and have a hard time being random. There is always a method to my madness.
2) Sometimes, I wish I were hot. I don't think I'm unattractive, but sometimes I wish I was bowl-you-over, knock-you-out, beautiful. Like maybe make guys scared a little.
3) Sometimes I really, really, really miss playing with toys.
4)Not that this may be actually surprising (and sorry if it's TMI, but you asked), I really love kissing and think it's so fun and think about it a lot.
5) I really have no desire to drive, ever. I think about taking lessons and going slow and I want to puke.
6) I have a recurring scary but silly nightmare in which I somehow get pregnant from a bathtub.
7)I am really sad that I only officially get to be a teenager for one more year.
8) Sometimes I love people, dogs, songs, ideas so much, I actually feel pain in my chest and want to cry.

When You Were Young...

2007-07-25T10:36:00.001-06:00

What spice girl were you when you were young?
Ginger

Back Street Boys or NSync?
Neither, yuck

Did you watch S Club 7?
No

What was your favorite, Sandlot or Little Rascals?
Little rascals-it was romantical.

What year were you born in?
1988

Did you ever have light up sneakers?
I didn't wear sneakers so much.

What was your favorite thing about recess?
kissing tag

What year was it when you were in 3rd grade?
96-97

Cinderella or Snow White?
Cinderella

Did you wake up really early just to watch cartoons on One Saturday morning?
I tried but usually didn't get up that early.

What grade were you in when you learned how to count up to 10 in Spanish?
I think I've always known that. I lived in Rose Park and half our friends/neighbors spoke Spanish.

What was your favorite holiday?
Valentines Day.

Did you ever try to stay up on Christmas just so you could see santa?
Yes

Did you leave milk and cookies or milk and carrots?
Pizza, soda and cards.

What grade did you like the best?
I pretty much enjoyed all grades while I was there. Except 7th and 8th, which I have blocked out.

Ninja Turtle or Power Rangers?
Power Rangers were more my generation, but I love the Turtles.

What Power Ranger were you?
Pink or yellow depending on the day. Pink usually, yellow when I realized every girl wanted to be pink. My elementary school boyfriend was, of course, green.

Did you ever own a chinese jump rope?
A what?

What was your favorite thing to eat?
donuts

What was your favorite color?
Pink

Barney or sesame street?
Sesame Street, though it has some creepy elements. I love Bert and Ernie!

Do you ever miss being a little kid?
I miss elements. I miss seeing magical things and not being freaked out, I miss playing soap opera Barbie with Gigi(well, to a certain extent, I miss Sergio being almost next door, I miss all that is the glorious game of kissing tag.

Do you wish you were older?
No

Were you a girlie girl or tomboy?
I was pretty girly-I never wore sneakers, I was highly flirtatious. That being said, I only hung out with boys and found girly stuff like mary mack highly boring.

What was your first pets name?
Frankie and Sarge.

Who was your best friend in kindergarten?
Gina and Sergio. But I didn't go to school with either of them. At school? I don't know. Julie?

Are you still friends with the person you were best friends with in the 3rd grade?
I had several best friends in the third grade. Sergio moved that year, so I don't know if he counts but him and Gina yeah. I've talked to Julie a couple times on here. Josh, Bradley...sadly no. I wonder if they'd remember me?

Where did you live when you were 9?
That was the year I moved from Rose Park to Sugar House.

How many times have you switched schools including preschool?
Once in elementary, from Rose Park to Hawthorne.

Have you ever stayed back
No

What grade are you in now?
Sophomore in college

What was your all time favorite movie?
At the time? The Little Mermaid and Benny and Joon.

Which did you like Are You Afraid Of The Dark or AHH! Real Monsters?
Neither

Did you watch Rocko’s Modern Life?
No

Who was your favorite character in Doug?
The snotty guy who tried to be a ladies man.

Did this quiz make you think about how good it was back then?
Yes. I wonder how guys my age would feel if I initiated kissing tag...

So Many Books...

2007-07-21T15:46:00.000-06:00

I am currently reading two books at once. I hate doing this, not because I get confused, but because I don't know what book to pick up on my way to the bus stop. Anyway, here they are.
The first book is The Talisman by Sir Walter Scott. I picked it up because I caught the name of Richard I of England, who is actually on my family tree and therefore super-interesting to me. It is the story (thus far) of Scottish knight Kenneth (played in my head by Ewan McGregor) who is in the Middle East during the crusades. He's on some sort of special mission, but I'm not totally sure what it is yet. None the less, it's had some cool little elements of middle age knight tales and early Catholicism. Kenneth stays with a possibly mad prophet, stumbles into a hidden chapel, and falls in love with/gets the hots for a nun-in-training who I think may be his ex-girlfriend (if I am understanding this correctly). There's also been some thought provoking social elements. Kenneth and a Middle Eastern soldier have a conversation where the soldier cannot understand why Kenneth is deprived of sex until marriage, and Kenneth doesn't understand why the soldier won't drink alcohol. It asks questions like what is the link between mental instability and the supernatural, do sexless societies create confusion between romantic love and worship, is courage synonymous with violence, etc.
The other book I'm reading is at my math professor's suggestion. It is entitled Geometry and the Visual Arts by Dan Pedoe. It has been a little out of my league mathematically-I understand it, but only very slowly-but wicked interesting. (Hmm I sound like a British schoolgirl.) I recently read the chapter on Albrecht Durer. I liked Durer's work anyway, particularly Melancholy, but this book has given me a new appreciation for it. I recommend it if you are into math or art.
I will probably give the priority to Pedoe, even if Scott is due back first at the library. Either way I'll have something to do at the train station!

Independence Day

2007-07-04T14:46:00.000-06:00

This is one of my favorite holidays-I believe in civil liberties and freedom. I love what the US potentially could be, what it should be. The whole family is coming over for a barbecue. I love that too. I love the contrast of red white and blue and sparkly lights and the BIGness of fireworks and the lighting that makes everyone look good and kind of ethereal, like fairies or nymphs. I love that everyone uses the exact same word (like "ahhh") at the exact same time in the exact same intonation when they're impressed by the lights. I love that everyone sort of believes in magic for a minute. I love how we all openly admit we can be fascinated by shiny things. I love how we all are celebrating passion. I love that we all light firecrackers and teach our four-year-olds that it is okay to play with fire, sometimes, maybe, that sure we need to be careful, but not if it means never seeing sparks at all.
Today I did something really summery-I washed my hair with the hose. It worked very well actually, except that I got some water in my ear and will be shouting all day. Oh well. After fireworks, so will everyone else.
July proves to be a busy month. I have had two friends with birthdays this month and there are 3 more to go. I love getting presents for people. I love having an excuse to shamelessly heap praise upon them and be as mushy as I want and they can't be embarrassed, they just get to sit there and blush.
Todays mini-play-list includes
-The Star-Spangled Banner by Jimi Hendrix
Because it's patriotic in a way that shows how desperately one should fight for the oppressed and dying.
-American Music by Violent Femmes
Because it celebrates the good old American party-makes me think of tailgating, barbeques, summer concerts, arcades, drive-in movies and cruising down the coastline blasting the radio.
-Pink Houses by John Cougar Mellencamp
I love the image of "an interstate runnin through his front yard", something that seems purely US. Also, I grew up on a street coming right off an overpass and have craved living on busy streets ever since.
-America by Simon and Garfunkel
Perfect road trip song for obvious reasons, but also gives a slightly melancholy tone of trying to define who we are and where we're going. It is something universal, yet seems to show up more in American (and not just US) art, music, film and literature.
-In A Big Country by Big Country
Okay so they're Scottish but this song seems to fit the US better in my opinion-Scotland doesn't have deserts one would not expect to grow flowers in for example. Besides the US is a big country that has largely been built on other nations' influences and people and I like it for it's hopeful pioneer spirit. And this is my blog. So there.

School

2007-06-18T11:49:00.000-06:00

I am currently in class and I think it is kind of pointless. I swear we had the same lecture last time and now I can't do the assignment we are supposed to be doing as a class because I forgot my flash drive. I would totally just leave but there's only 5 people exactly in this class so it would be obvious. One guy left during the break, which I also thought about doing, but the professor sounded like she had something else to say that I would need to be here for. Guess not.
I think I am the only one not doing anything. I hate wasting time like this. I need to go to the library and pay bills and do this thing for Susan...Oh thank heaven. The professor said we get to leave on time because she has a meeting or something.
Sorry for complaining. I'm actually really happy, lately. I'm just tired right now. I had a great weekend full of films Jeffrey so generously lent me. My favorite was The Man In The Iron Mask. I love the ultra-heroic idealism in that movie, and John Malkovitch is really a good actor. (I know this is probably duh, but I'm just discovering this.) He should do books on tape in his spare time. I also went to the comedy club where Tony does stand-up. Sergio and I sat right in the front row, which was kind of fun, but I felt bad on the rare occasion things weren't funny. O well.
Holy crap I can leave. Farewell!

Insomnia

2007-06-11T23:28:00.000-06:00

I should have been in bed 2 hours ago. I can't sleep. It's too hot to sleep with the window closed, and the neighbors TV is too loud with it open. Not to mention I keep coughing. Attendance at Math Class isn't mandatory, but I don't want to miss. So I guess I'll go try it again.

Music: "Young Folks"-Peter Bjorn and John

Today I Feel Parenthetical.

2007-06-08T13:24:00.000-06:00

So now that I have effectively destroyed any chance of anyone I know actually reading this, I can publish the more scandalous bits of my life without fear. But before my imaginary readers get too excited, when scandalous things happen to me I usually blitz on hours of TV trying to forget them. Nonetheless, here is what's been happening:
-My older brother and his 15-year-old son, along with their Boston terrier and pug have taken up residence in my little château.
-My friend Kandis got married. Congratulations!!
-Karen, Brandy, and Aurora have all given me incredibly generous late Birthday presents. Thank you!
-I saw something that really is scandalous (and quite disturbing).
-School has started once again for the summer. I'm excited for my math class, I'll post on computers next week.
-Aurora and I once again are going to go for walks with her dog Nina.
-Michael Cera of Arrested Development has a web-show. Watch it! It's pretty funny and I would probably find it twice as if the video didn't have to keep buffering-pretty sure that's my internet connection, though, not the site. (To those of you with would-be virgin ears, they try to censor "swears" but they really suck at it.) Regardless, you have to support alumni from the greatest sitcom of all time. (Yes I did just put it above Seinfeld. You will just have to deal with it.)
-Hard Candy makes excellent makeup, particularly bronzer, nail polish and mascara. Thanks Natalie for stocking me up!
Todays music: Blue Man Group.
Hot guys of the week: Steven Strait; Jensen Ackles; and of course Clark Duke and Michael Cera of Clark and Michael whose comedy has rocked my world.

2007-03-18T23:50:00.000-06:00

Today I finally read the minutes for the book festival meeting. They want me to be chairwoman for the Define-a-thon. Chairwoman! How exciting, and sort of scary.

It occurs to me no one knows what I'm talking about. Maybe I don't say much as nothing is sure yet.

In that vein, (vain? vane? huh.) I have decided to apply for a cashiers job at Rite Aid. I would like a little 10 hour a week job, and I'd only have to ride one bus to get to this one which gives me more confidence about working later in the day. The only thing I'm nervous about is that most people don't want to have to deal with my changing in two months school schedule. But I'm definitely putting school first.

I have been so physically exhausted the last two days. I'm missing my family, though I've been seeing them more lately than at other times. So I'm slightly out of sorts-forgive me.

Rocky

2007-03-09T17:01:00.000-07:00

Here's to Rocky. He truly was the sweetest, most compassionate dog I ever met. That may sound silly to some, but it's true.

Widgets, Part 2

2007-02-26T01:14:00.000-07:00

I have a widget from library thing! I know how! I am happy!

It doesn't seem to change though...

Widgets

2007-02-26T00:58:00.001-07:00

I want to set up a widget from library thing. I don't know how. I am sad.

Sunday 18 February 2007

2007-02-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

School starts again on March 1st-and I'm pretty excited. But I really want to decorate my room (again) before they start. So that's the big question of the week-Can Dani makeover her room in the next 9 days? (Sundays don't count.) You would think so, wouldn't you? I will keep you posted on the ever exciting developments.
This week I also start my work for the Humanities Council. I am very excited, but I do feel slight apprehension. I do not know what exactly they will be depending on me to do, or how often they will want me to commit to doing it. I have come to what I believe is a rather practical decision regarding my time which is that no one activity such as school, volunteering, or work will take more than 25 hours per week. Now this can be adjusted a little such as more school, less volunteering etc, but that way I can keep my priorities straight and my mind off the proverbial fritz.
Also this week, at school they are doing The Vagina Monologues. As a humanities major and a used to wannabe actress, I am curious about this. However I have a bit of a fear of the V word. This is not a fear of feminism or of my own sexuality, but rather of biology and pseudo-intellectualism. Also I have no idea what this play is about, and three hours contemplating vijayjays is time that could surely be spent on better things, no? (Any of you freaks out there, that is a rhetorical question.) Anyway, I will let you know if it was worth the time-anyone want to go with me?

I'm So Excited

2007-02-14T13:41:00.000-07:00

Some exciting news is on the horizon. First of all, My friend Natalie and I have created a web zine documenting our interests and our fabulous lives. Because Natalie is much more savvy than I am it will probably be much better maintained than if I were doing it alone. Anyway check it out.
I am volunteering for the Utah Humanities Council which is pretty cool too. I am way excited.
Also starting in March I am required to write in a journal-this means more blogs!
Lucky you!

2007-02-03T18:40:00.000-07:00

I love seeing things go against stereotype. The following quizzle thing trys to pin you down. It's sorta fun-for example did you know flip-flops are a sign of rich kids? For all gothic obsession with the supernatural, they don't believe in deity? That I am A skater chick?
Yeah right-I should be kept away from anything with wheels-up to and including shopping carts.

RICH KID]
[] You go to a tanning salon.
[] You watch The OC and/or Laguna Beach/ The Hills.
[x] You own a cell phone
[] You own something designer.
[x] You love going to the mall.
[x] You take your cellphone everywhere.
[] You own an iPod and/or an MP3 player.
[ x] You love Starbucks.
[x] You love flip flops.
Total x's : 5/9= 56%

[GOTH]
[ x] Red or black is one of your favorite colors.
[x] You have thought about death.
[ ] You wear chains.
[ ] You like heavy metal.
[x] You love/ like Hot Topic.
[] You have worn black lipstick
[x] Your hair is dark.
[ x] You dislike preppiness.
[ ] You're an atheist.
[ ] You have/want piercings in unusual places
Total x's :: 5/10= 50%

[SKATERBOARDER]
[] You can skateboard.
[x] You wear plaid.
[x] You love/like Converse.
[x] You think you're different.
[] You hate BET.
[x]You have moshed.
[x] You have/had/want blue, pink,red,purple, or green hair or highlights.
[ x] You love skater girls/boys.
[] You hate pink.
[] You hate rich kids sometimes
Total x's :: 6/10= 60%

[NERD]
[x] You love computers.
[ ] You like Star Trek.
[] You wear glasses/supposed to
[ ] You get straight A's.
[x] You love reading.
[ ] You are in band.
[ ] You don't care what you look like.
[] You have a curfew.
[ x] You always do your homework.
[ ] You never cut school.
Total x's :: 3/10= 30%

[EMO]
[ ]You have black-rimmed glasses.
[ ] You like Thursday.
[ x] You comb your hair in front of your face.
[x] You cry easily.
[x] You like emo music
[] you hate being called emo
[x ] You keep a journal/diary.
[ x] You have written a sad poem.
[] You have had a sad MySpace layout.
Total x's :: 5/9 = 56%

[GHETTO/GANGSTA]
[] You like rap.
[ ] You are in a gang
[ ] You wear Tag.
[ ] You wear rubberbands in your pants.
[] you swear a lot
[ ] you have had a freestyling contest.
[x] You have said "fo shizzle".
[]You have been called a "playa".
[x] You have worn Converse with the tongue flipped out.
Total x's :: 2/9 =22%

[SCENE/HARDCORE]
[] You wear a bandana.
[] You love Pokemon, the Ninja Turtles, etc.
[] You never walk anywhere.
[ ] You wear slip-on Vans.
[ ] You love/like Norma Jean
[x] You wear band tees.
[ ]People have called you a freak and meant it
[]You love to "hardcore" dance.
[] Your hair has been dyed in more than one color.
Total x's :: 1/9 = 11%

2006-08-08T15:12:00.000-06:00

You are a Lavender Rose

You represent love at first sight and enchantment.

Your vibe: intense and intriguing

Falling in love with you is: deep and meaningful

What Color Rose Are You?

Me, All Colourful and What Not.

2006-05-08T00:46:00.000-06:00

Hover over the colors to see facets of my personality. ( I'm a benevelent creator.) Then tell me if you agree and I'll try to explain myself.

If you feel like sharing, go here and take the test (but be warned, it's long).

What's Love? by Daniel Handler

2006-05-04T21:26:00.000-06:00

What's love, again? No, seriously: what is it? Why are you quoting song lyrics? Do the lyrics of love songs actually cut to the heart of the matter, or are they simply so vague that it feels like they do? Why does one's own love feel as if it cuts to the heart of things, but other people's loves feel like vague amusements? Why are love songs we don't like so noxious? How can we love a song so dearly for a number of years and then suddenly find it embarrassing? Also, a person?

Why is it that love feels so individual, and yet nearly every individual falls in and out of love in basically the same way? Why are stories of other people meeting and falling in love invariably tedious? Why are stories of other people breaking up so riveting? If love can happen in an instant how come it actually takes forever to get it together? Is love like taking a taxi, in which the route is important but the passengers could be anybody? Or is it more like driving a taxi, in which you end up in neighborhoods you'd never visit under ordinary circumstances, just because someone came into your life and bossed you around? Or it is more like trying to find a taxi in the rain, when everyone else is safe and dry and you're stuck on the corner wondering when in the world someone will come along and pick you up?

Why is love undimmed by the knowledge that there's absolutely no chance the person loves you back? How is it possible you can fall in love with three separate people who all go to your high school, but then not find anyone in the entire world later on? How could that boy or girl way back when have absolutely no clue you loved them? Also, how could they date that other, completely unsuitable person, when you were standing right there? In fact, why do so many supposedly sensible people fall in love with the ones who are so clearly going to make them miserable, and why, when these people try to answer this question, do they invariably use the phrase "my mother"? Why is it so easy to imagine how a love might work out, but so difficult to actually put this into practice? Why is love in the movies so completely unbelievable and yet tear-jerking, as opposed to, say, martial arts in the movies, or space travel?

If love has nothing to do with money, then why do lovers bicker about money so much? Why would it be so wonderful if one's lover gave one a million dollars, but so wretched if someone offered us a million dollars to be our lover? Or, maybe, not so wretched? Or, maybe if it were two million? Why does failure in other aspects of life actually make love more difficult, rather than easier? If honesty has everything to do with love, then why do we lie to the people we love more than anyone else? Why do we live with people we love, when sometimes we'd rather have absolutely anyone sitting at the opposite end of the couch except the person who is? How can we love someone and simultaneously despise every single thing they do for more than a month straight? Like, every six months?

Can you really love someone you met once a bunch of years ago who it's safe to say has never thought of you ever again? Why are some people breathtaking in their underwear and others mortifying, and how come we can't come anywhere close to agreeing on which people are which? Why are our friends considered an entirely different kind of love than our lovers, and why is it a miracle if these people get along? Why do we behave very much like crazy people wandering the streets when we're in love, and yet we never fall in love with crazy people wandering the streets? Why is it so miraculous to be loved by one person, but if we were simultaneously loved by several people it would be creepy? Why can't we have sex with anyone we want?

Why isn't love worth it, usually, when you tally it up? Can you really love somebody forever? If we're supposed to spend the afterlife with the ones we love, what happens if your loved one is some girl you haven't seen since high school? And, what if she loves somebody else? Is love like a volcano lurking beneath the city, simmering for years and then suddenly erupting when the time has come? Or is it more like a terrorist attack, containing an agenda so irrational that it cannot possibly excuse the damage it does? Or is it more like an Englishwoman in America, constantly misunderstood when the circumstances are not actually all that foreign? If cheese means different things in different countries, shouldn't love? Or, not cheese, but, know what I mean?

Say there's this guy Joe. Can he help it that he falls in love with people who don't make him happy? Or, that when they do make him happy he falls in love with someone else? And what about Helena — she's in love, but somehow this isn't enough. Shouldn't it be? And if it isn't enough, does this mean she's not really in love? It certainly seems to be spoiling the love she's in. And let's say there's a volcano underneath the city — doesn't that make things more urgent? Does urgency mean that you should keep the person you're with, or hold out for the best possible person? And what if the best possible person loves somebody else? For instance, what if Helena loves David, but David loves Peter, and used to love Andrea, who loves Tony, who thinks he loves Helena, who used to love Sam, who loves Andrea who now loves Steve, who might be the sort of person to murder somebody in the park — Eddie, for instance, who loves Hank, who ends up in a diner where two detectives are looking for the Snow Queen who loves Mike? Do you see what I'm getting at here?

Hmm...Maybe this is why my plants die.

2006-05-03T13:46:00.000-06:00

"My fake plants died because I didn't pretend to water them." - Mitch Hedberg

Found on the Blog for Radio from Hell.

Do you know your ABCs?

2006-04-15T16:01:00.000-06:00

Post your answers as a comment!

A - AVAILABLE: Hm..for what?
B - BEST FRIENDS: I have a lot of people I feel to be very close friends. That might surprise some of them though.
C - CRUSH: Johnny Depp?
D- DAD'S NAME: Daddy. Duh.
E - EASY PERSON OF OPPOSITE SEX TO TALK TO: Besides my brothers, probably Alex and Sergio.
F - FAVORITE BAND: Too many.
G - GUMMY BEARS OR WORM: Gummy’s creepy. But I would rather eat bears than worms.
H - HOMETOWN: Salt Lake City, Utah.
I - INSTRUMENT: I want to play bass.
K - KIDS: In the very very distant future.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: I don't know. Maybe as much as 12, but probably around 9. Daddy would know this.
M - MILK FLAVOR: Just regular. Though, as previously established, I do love chocolate.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 4.
O - ONE WISH: I can’t tell it won’t come true.
P - PHOBIAS: Driving.
Q - FAVORITE QUOTE: Too many.
R - REASON TO SMILE: Spumoni.
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Bother by Corey Taylor.
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP TODAY: I have no idea. I have been avoiding the clock.
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I like Russian literature.
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE: celery.
W- WORST HABITS: Rather not say.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: 2
Y - YUMMY FOOD: mizithra.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus.

More Quizzy Crap!

2006-04-15T15:50:00.000-06:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? 12:30 this afternoon.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw? I forgot

4.What is your favorite T.V. show (s)? Law & Order, Smallville, Scrubs

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Mountain Dew

6. What is your middle name? Danielle

8. What foods do you dislike? Most, unfortunately.

9. What is your favorite chip flavor? Sun chips-original

10. What is your favorite CD? At the moment it is Stunt by Barenaked Ladies.

11. What kind of car do you drive? I do not.

12. Favorite sandwich? Turkey + lotsa mayo from Grinders 13.

13. What characteristics do you despise? Pseudo intellectualism.

14. Favorite Item of clothing? Shirts and skirts.

15. If you could go anywhere on vacation, where would you go? California. I just want to lay on the beach for a couple of days.

16. Who sent this to you? Karen

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Bebe.

18. Where would you retire to? I don’t know.

19. What was your most memorable birthday? Last year. Hardrock Café and the so cute, flirtatious yet gay waiter. Having my family over for cake.

20. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey, hands down. I would say I have no barbaric desire to watch people fight, but then I realize Hockey is a blood sport. Baseball is a close second.

21. Furthest place you are sending this? Well I’m posting it, so theoretically anywhere.

22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Well no one responds if it’s a post, but they can!

23. Person you expect to send it back first? Well no one responds if it’s a post, but they can!

24. Goal you have for yourself? To survive until new years.

25. Living or dead, who would you choose to have lunch with? Any/all family and like 7 of my closest friends.

26. When is your birthday? May 12th, 1988

27. Morning person or a night person? Night. We all feel better in the dark. (Pet Shop boys, yo.)

28. What is your shoe size? 8

29. Pets? Nope. I want a Pomeranian named Sinatra and a cat named Zhivago.

30. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? I have been posting on my blog!

31. What did you want to be when you were little? A princess.

32. What are you today? Hungover.

33. What is your favorite candy? Chocolate.

34. What is your favorite flower? Roses and lilacs.

35. Would you reply with a letter if I write to you? If who wrote to me?

36. What is your favorite dessert? Chocolate. My brother, we’ll call him Gustave, says that the surest way to find the dessert I’m going to order is by finding the one with the most kinds of chocolate.

37. What is your favorite Restaurant? That’s way too hard.

38. What do you do in your spare time? Fill out stuff like this apparently

Quizzle

2006-04-13T16:13:00.000-06:00

1) When was the last time you went to the bathroom outside?
Never. I mean I guess when I was a baby. But ew.

2) Last time you saw your parents?
Mother is in the next room. I haven’t seen Daddy since February.

3) Which family member do you most resemble?
Mother.

4) Do you own your own Bible?
Yes.

5) Do you wear deodorant?
Yes.

6) Do you clean up nice?
Yes.

7) When was the last time you tripped and fell?
I don’t remember.

8) Where was the last place you slept besides your home?
The Best Western in Baker City.

9) What are you listening to right now?
Bottle of Blues by Beck from the album Mutations.

10) Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire?
Not that I know of.

11) Ever run out of gas on the road?
No.

12) Would you rather cut the grass or rake the leaves?
Rake the leaves.

13) Your middle name spelled backwards?
Elleinad. It sounds like an epic poem.

14) What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Me personally? Sim stuff.

15) Last time you swam in a pool?
I do not really enjoy being submerged.

16) Have you ever been in a school play?
Yes

17) How many kids do you want?
Like 4

18) Type of music you dislike most?
Country.

19) You registered to vote?
No. I don’t know where I will be living or what.

20) You have cable?
No.

21) Ever prank call anybody?
Yes.

23) Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
No.

24) Do you have a garden?
No

25) What's your favorite comic?
Um. Garfield or The Far Side.

26) Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Night Shower. I do not really enjoy being submerged.

27) Best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
Um. I don’t know.

28) Best Pizza Topping?
Cheese.

29) peanuts or popcorn?
Popcorn.

30) Have you ever smoked?
No

31) Orange Juice or apple?
Apple.

32) Chocolate Bar?
Yes, please.

33) When was the last time you voted at the polls?
Never.

34) When was the last time you ate a home grown tomato?
Never.

35) What do you like to do on rainy days?
Dance barefoot.

36) Ever order anything from an infomercial?
Yes. CDs.

37) Sprite or 7-Up?
Sprite tastes better, but 7-Up has infinitely more cool appeal.

38) Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work/school?
No. Ha.

39) Ever thrown up in public?
No

40) Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
True love.

41) Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes. .

42) Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
My nephew.

43) Did you have a lot of hair as a baby?
I was bald.

44) What do you think about most?
Music, clothes, and God.

45) Favorite form of travel?
Walking. I trust it. It comes from God.

46) If you could have one magical power what would it be?
To have the one magical power that allows you to do anything you want.

Stupid

2005-11-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

Wednesday I went to a poetry reading. It counts as extra credit for English, so a bunch of people who don't give a crap showed up. They were being really rude, and then as my friends and I were leaving, they followed us to our cars and started harassing us. They were threatening to beat up the guys, not to mention saying all sorts of crap to us. I seriously thought the guys were gonna have to fight, but we just left. It was like 2:1 them against us too. I was pretty shaken up.

2005-10-21T13:43:00.000-06:00

I am on the verge of a panic attack so it seemed like a good idea to blog. I have recently entered the working world. This is not for resume builders or anything idealistic like that. This is purely for money. Money so that i can go to college. The sad sick irony is this: I now don't have any time to focus on college apps, essays, homework, or anything else. I don't know what to do!!! School is more impoprtant, but how will I pay for it without the job??? Even if i were to quit and focus on scholarship-finding I'd need more money. Plus it's only been a week, if i quit now it will just be another stupid thing i just couldn't get thru or whatever. I HATE money. Because no matter how much you have, you need more. All the money i'll make will go straight into savings anyway. I feel like I am being smothered by a giant alarm clock. I just need to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-16T21:05:00.000-06:00

A Few Moments
Tomas Tranströmer

The dwarf pine on marsh grounds holds its head up: a dark rag.
But what you see is nothing compared to the roots,
the widening, secretly groping, deathless or half-
deathless root system.

I you she he also put roots out.
Outside our common will.
Outside the City.

Rain drifts from the summer sky that's pale as milk.
It is as if my five senses were hooked up to some other creature
that moves with the same stubborn flow
as the runners in white circling the track as the night comes misting in.

Holy crap quotes

2005-10-09T20:24:00.000-06:00

Here are a lot of things I like:
A designer knows he has arrived at perfection not when there is no longer anything to add but when there is no longer anything to take away. - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

I am convinced we do not only love ourselves in others but hate ourselves in others too. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart, and that depends upon how much he has polished it. Whoever has polished it more sees more - more unseen forms become manifest to him. – Jalal Ad-din Rumi

What this power is I cannot say; All I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it. - William Shakespeare

Times of great calamity and confusion have been productive for the greatest minds. The purest ore is produced from the hottest furnace. The brightest thunder-bolt is elicited from the darkest storm.- Charles Caleb Colton

Mind and spirit together make up that which separates us from the rest of the animal world, that which enables a man to know the truth and that which enables him to die for the truth.- Edith Hamilton

People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world. - David Levesque

So which is your favorite?

Utah in the News

2005-09-23T00:06:00.000-06:00

Well, just because my darling little state doesn't get much attention, I thought i'd link to this blog from VH1 about us.

2005-09-08T16:43:00.000-06:00

2005-09-08T16:41:00.000-06:00

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100 Years-Five for Fighting

2005-09-06T13:04:00.000-06:00

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Katherina Has Stopped Caring.

2005-09-04T00:29:00.000-06:00

Here is my declaration of independence:
I don't care.
I am me. I like what I like. I don't owe anyone anything except God. I like TV. I love Indie rock. I vary between reading fashion magazines, classic lit, fluff/beach novels and religious treatises. I live in my own little world. I am an unapologetic slacker. I like rock, classical, and jazz. I make the occasional odd wandering into pop. I will stop apologizing for not having the same interests as other people.
Party time. Excellent.

2005-08-27T13:19:00.000-06:00

2005-08-06T12:25:00.001-06:00

Your Nail Polish Color is Red

How you're unique: You have an incredible eye for style and art

Why your style rocks: You are classic and classy - and that's hot!

What this color says about you: "I'm smart, sassy, and sexy. And I know it."

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Very cool

2005-08-05T00:40:00.000-06:00

"If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down." - Ray Bradbury

Just for the heck of it... you do it too!

2005-07-25T18:30:00.000-06:00

FiLL THiS OUT:

the last person who..

1. Slept in your bed: me
2. Saw you cry: Probably JoAnna
3. Made you cry: Daddy..sorta.
4. You went to the movies with: JoAnna again
5. You went to the mall with: JoAnna & Heidi
6. One thing you could take back: Any insult to someone I love.

HAVE YOU EVER...............
1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: yes
2. Got in a fight with your pet: No...
3. Been to California: Yes
4. Been to Mexico: No
5. Been to China:No
6. Been to Canada: Yes
7. Been to Europe: No
8. Danced naked: Hmm...
9. Wish you were the opposite sex: No

1. Do you have a crush on someone: no, just Johnny Depp & Phil of the Future
2. What book are you reading now: The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
3. Worst feeling in the world: Hopelessness
4. Future KIDS names: Christopher & Victoria
5. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Sorta
6. What's under your bed: Stuff
7. Favorite sport to watch:Hockey
8. Location: Salt Lake, Utah
9. Piercings/Tattoos: None
11. What are you most scared of: Regret
12. Where do you want to get married: A temple
13. Who do you really hate: The Bitch Twins. I don't swear-this is how much I hate them.
14. Do you have a job: No
15. Do you like being around people: yes
16. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: None whatsoever? No, I don't think so. Unless you count Johnny Depp.
17. Have you ever cried: Yes
18. Are you lonely right now: No...well maybe in an existential sort of way.
19. Song that's stuck in your head a lot: Don't quite know.

1. Been in love: Sorta...I don't know how to answer that. Not officially.
2. Played strip poker: No, but i have won every game of poker I've ever played, so watch out!
3. Gotten beaten up: Not really.
4. Pulled an all nighter: Not to study...
5. Been on radio/tv: yes
6. Been in a mosh-pit: No
7. Do you have any gay/lesbian friends: Yes
8. Skinny dipped: No

In the last 24 Hours have you...

1. Cried: No
2. Bought something: Yes
3. Gotten sick: No
4. Sang: Yes
5. Been kissed: No
6. Had sex: No
7. Felt stupid: No
8. Talked to an ex: No
9. Missed someone: Yes
10. Hugged someone: Yes

your name is? L'en public ? Katherina Marie D'Aquitaine.